


So What If I Love You

by Kiribakufanatic



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Eren Yeager, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, December Fanfic Challenge, Depressed Eren Yeager, Depression, Eating Disorders, Ereri AU Week, Ereri Week, F/M, Fanfiction, Heterosexuality, Implied/Referenced Suicide, LGBTQ Themes, Levi - Freeform, M/M, Modern Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, POV Eren Yeager, POV Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Shounen-ai, Therapy, Top Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:20:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 37
Words: 28,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27893734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiribakufanatic/pseuds/Kiribakufanatic
Summary: The quiet and questionable delinquent named Levi tumbles upon a taken and simple student named Eren.A bleeding Levi in an alleyway, what a clichè. Yet Eren approaches him anyway with the words "You look like shit". Will they become close revealing secrets they buried or continue to live on as strangers with the same burdens they had for years ?Eren is happy with his girlfriend Mikasa and Levi is content with the distance he keeps from the rest. After the coincidental meeting, will Eren break down the wall Levi has put up or is it other way around?
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Annie Leonhart, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Levi & Eren Yeager, Levi/Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman/Jean Kirstein
Comments: 37
Kudos: 142





	1. Senior Year

**Author's Note:**

> also contains the ships  
> -mikasa x eren  
> -mikasa x jean  
> -armin x annie

"Eren, wait up", an arm hooked itself into mine and I saw that the arm belonged to Mikasa. I was on my way to school, summer break was finally over and we were starting our senior year and with we, I mean Armin, Mikasa, Annie and I.

"Morning Mika", I greeted my girlfriend, who had been my childhood friend along with Armin. She confessed a year ago and ever since then we had been going out. "Are you coming over today? Moms making eggplants", my stomach turned at the thought, yet I couldn't turn her offer down thus leading to me giving her a wide smile and nod.

Before we went into our new class, we saw Annie and Armin flirting in front of the door. "Oh what a sight, two nerd birds in love", I snickered then Armin turned around. A fist came flying and I caught it pulling him into a headlock. "You big oaf, how Mikasa fell for you is a mystery", I laughed as we all finally entered the classroom. Annie and Mikasa sat next to each other leaving Armin and I to sit behind them. 

Mikasa turned around and gave me a bright smile "Aren't you excited for this school year", her happiness was radiating throughout the class atmosphere. "Yep, I can't wait", I lied through my teeth. I couldn't stand school nor anything that was grouped together with it. Yet I adjusted myself to her liking. The gap in our compatibility is something she would never understand, sometimes it threw me off however as long as she was happy I couldn't have cared less.

Thats most likely the main reason she fell for me, because I perfectly worked on myself to be perfect boyfriend. It was just easier that way, I had the perfect disguise for all the people close to me. Adjusting to how they wanted a friend to be or how my mother would prefer her son. Perhaps thats why on the other side, I'm so boring.

Our homeroom teacher entered the room immediately writing his name on the board. Smith it read. It sounded American and he also looked like a foreigner too fancy to be teaching at our bland school. As our lessons went on, I daydreamed while looking out the window, nothing particular was on my mind. 

"Eren", Armins voice ripped me out of dreamland. Mikasa and Annie stood there holding Bentos, as Armin explained that they wanted to eat on the rooftop even though our school forbid it. Mikasa gave me that genuine smile again holding out her hand waiting for me to take it as I did.  
On the stairs towards the rooftop, a boy came from the opposite direction down the stairs passing us. Had he skipped class, I thought, on the first day already. 

Mikada fed me egg roles as she continued to ramble on about how her parents were buying a new cat. "You'll be the first to see him", she stopped feeding me as I placed my hand in front of the chopsticks cause the two egg rolls made me feel full. She tilted her head and a few strains of hair fell in front of her face. Unconsciously I tucked them behind her ear and she turned red. Mikasa was a beauty, yeah. "Eww get a room, you two", Armin teased and I snorted telling him to shut up.

After a long, dragged day, lessons were finally over then Mikasa and I were on our way to her house. We ate her mothers dinner and her mother and her full of excitement talked about school and pulled me into their conversations. Afterwards she pulled me to her room. "Look, I got you the sweater we both found cute for your birthday this month", I acted excited despite hating the sweater, but as long as she was happy, what did it matter.


	2. Perfected Image

"Did you eat", mom asked as soon as I entered the house, I headed into the kitchen "Yes", I answered as she looked up at me smiling. She was baking her cookies and I put down my school bag to help her. After we were done, she kissed me on the forehead and I went upstairs to shower. I headed to bed, after texting Mika goodnight, for my next exciting day.

\--the next morning--

There she waited for me again in front of the school gates. She waved innocently and I gave her a kiss. "Hey sleepyhead, sleep well?", she giggled and the perfect answer already formed in my head "Yeah, what about my princess", she loved hearing that, it always brought a smile to her face, which is what I aimed for. Armin and Annie sat in the classroom waiting for our arrival. Armin put his arms behind his head while rocking on the chair. They were talking about my birthday, I had forgotten it was even coming up. They asked me what I wanted to do but I had no wishes, so I went over all the places they liked and came to a conclusion. "What about McDonald's", they all nodded in agreement. 

The first period was English and I had been doodling as I finally looked up to the sound of our door sliding open. It was the boy from yesterday, the one on the stairs. The teacher grumbled for him to come to the teachers lounge after the lesson and that was that. He took a seat in the back catching me staring which took me aback resulting in me looking back at my notebook embarrassed. 

The rest of the day went on and I dreaded having to go to study group with my friends tomorrow. School really was unenjoyable. 

Mom wasn't home yet, so I went upstairs and threw myself on my bed. Next to my bed was the picture of my father and my friend group. I picked up the one of my friends and looked over it. It was at the fireworks festival last year, the night Mika asked me out, I was grateful that they stayed by my side.

\--next day--

"Let's go eat on the rooftop again for lunch", Armin suggested as our lunch break started. The girls had went ahead and we went to buy bread before joining them. "How have u been", Armin asked on our way back to the girls. He'd sometimes randomly ask me this and I'd give the same answer everytime "Good", before asking him how he was. We both weren't emotional best friends, but we've always had each others back no matter what. 

It was a clear, sunny day. Mika fell asleep on my shoulder after eating. It was the compromise for me only eating a melon pan and not being hungry for her bento. We sat there and talked about Smith sensei, all of a sudden the door opened but it wasn't a teacher. It was the boy who came late to English. He was covered in bruises as he was yesterday and had these scary, grey Yankee eyes, but they were more intriguing than anyone's I had ever seen. No one said anything and he closed the door as suddenly as he had opened it. "Think he'll ever talk to anyone", Annie commented and I shrugged as an answer, Armin said nothing before going back to what we were talking about. I looked at my phone and showed it to the two that were awake "Its time to go back to class", I pinched Mikasa's nose "Mika, wake up", her eyes slowly opened and we made our way back to the classroom. 

Before we could leave to go to study group, we cleaned our classroom. "I'm taking out the trash and waiting in front of the gates guys", I said as I carried two heavy bags outside. 

We all gathered at Jeans house, another sporty jackass, whom I couldn't stand. Personally I'd punch him in the face but then my perfected image would be in ruins. A week had passed and nothing had changed, life was as boring as could be. My birthday was tomorrow and I didn't feel like celebrating it, however the thought of being with my friends was okay. 

\--the next morning--

"There's my birthday boy~", mom cooed, as I came downstairs, smiling. She presented my birthday breakfast and present. I kissed her on the cheek before sitting down. I unwrapped the present and took out a leather necklace with a dirty silver key attached to it. It was the one..  
"He wanted you to have it", mom whispered looking slightly depressed as those words slipped her lips. "Thank you, I love it".


	3. Happy Birthday

I hugged her, managing to calm her down so we could eat breakfast together. I didn't eat much and looked at the time seeing I had to leave for school. "Thanks again mom, I'll be home later. Love you", I yelled before closing the door and running to school. Mika ran towards me hence me picking her up swinging her once around before placing her back on her feet. She placed a kiss on my cheek "Happy birthday", she congratulated me for the second time today, the first being via text this morning. 

My classmates all congratulated me as I walked into class and Armin punched me in the arm as I finally sat down after thanking everyone. "Happy birthday, dude. Finally 18", I grinned but in the back of my mind, I thought about the incident before pushing it back down to convince myself.

After school as we had all planned, we went to McDonald's. Armin and Annie gave me two manga from the series Attack on Titan, which I was obsessed with and Mika gave me the ugly sweater that still made me happy. "Thanks guys, this means a lot to me", I had specifically asked not to get cake since I didn't want them to have to bother. I lied a couple of years ago and said sweets give me stomachaches, sadly my mom believed me too. Also why Mika never got me Valentines chocolate. 

I was lost in thought as I swished the remaining Fanta in my cup. "Hey Eren, we gotta go", Armin announced standing up with Annie. I nodded understandingly as we all left the restaurant together. "Happy birthday again. See you tomorrow", Armin said before he and Annie made their way home. I took Mika home first "Thanks for today, Mika", she giggled and hugged me tightly. "No problem Eren. Goodnight, get home safe", I waved waiting for her to get inside before making my way home.

On my way home I heard fighting coming from a familiar alleyway. There stood the guy that barely came to school fighting two guys who after they saw me ran. The grey eyed boy jerked his head in my direction then making an 'oh thats why they ran away' face ahead of falling onto a box running his hand through that black hair. I knelt before him examining his wounds all over "You look like shit", I accidentally let slip out since I was thinking it ere I could apologize. He let out a soft chuckle followed with a sharp breath. "What's that? The Eren Yeager does have a foul side to him", his facial expression returned to its normal poker face. "Get out of here before they come back", for a second I thought that would have been fun, I considered until I confirmed the opposite in my head. "Who cares. Let's get you cleaned up", I grabbed his wrist and dragged him along with me, to my surprise no resistance came from his side. 

When we got in front of my door, he finally pulled his arm back carefully. I had to calm mom down in advance to her letting me look at him or she would worry and go into mom mode. "Its fine mom, I got this. Trust me", she bobbed her head and let me take him upstairs where we kept our medical kit. He sat obediently and let me bandage him up. I felt his gaze on me the whole time. "You're a weird one", he eventually muttered as I finished to which I snorted. "I could say the same about you", he didn't say a word and stood up, circling his arm around while I cleaned up. He walked to the door and I watched him. I didn't ask any questions or try to stop him.

"Oh and by the way, Happy birthday Yeager. Thanks for the check up", he left after simply saying that, I moved to the window to see him leave and I felt a smile creep upon my face. What a mysterious guy.

\--next day--

The hope to see him in school was immediately put down as I saw he wasn't there again. 

Mikasa ripped me out of my thoughts "What are you thinking about so hard", her arms wrapped around me, as I was sitting, from behind. I took the fragile hands that weren't that larger like you'd expect into mine. "Something school related", I lied.


	4. Urge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> notes from me, the author 👉🏽👈🏽 hi ahaha, how awkward but anyway I forgot to put this at the start but late than never as they say. Um I wrote this while listening to this song (the one up above) on repeat : You (slowed down) by Petit Biscuit  
> I mean I downloaded it and had headphones in most of the time. So thats what gave my story more feeling, I think you'd understand if you just heard it on repeat while reading, its absolutely beautiful. I mean you don't have to but yeah, sorry for the long authors note..carry on
> 
> https://youtu.be/9TPzVDMHLik

Mika didn't like Levi and would express her uncertainty in a rude way if she found out we spoke. She was a top notch student after all, the only reason I wrote decent grades. She also planned out our future so I just existed to be placed as she wanted, but that was alright since I'm useless any other way regardless. 

After school I took Mika home before heading to my own. My mom had asked me to eat dinner with her since she got off earlier which is why I didn't stay at her house. 

Everything around me was silent, the streets, no wind nor people and I randomly started thinking about why I was doing all this in the first place coming to no conclusions, how boring. Doubt filled my mind as I turned to look into the alleyway I had found Levi yesterday. Of course he wouldn't be there

"Looking for something?", a familiar, monotonous voice asked behind me. I turned to see the person I was looking for. His face hadn't gotten any new wounds and the ones from yesterday had gotten darker. "No, I was just passing by", I answered stepping back as he placed his hands in his front pants pockets, looking me up and down. Without a word he started to walk down the alleyway, an urge came over to me as his name slipped my lips hence he turned around.

"Want to come over for dinner", I blurted out, worrying and fretting over the words I had just said as then I watched as his eyes widen and his right hand had wandered from his pocket to covering his mouth as he started laughing. 

He finally calmed down returning to his poker face. "I'll take you up on that offer, Yeager", unlike yesterday we didn't rush home, we walked side by side in utter silence.

Mom opened the door and smiled at us. "Sorry mom, I brought a friend over", she opened the door wider so we could come in to take our shoes off. She said it was no problem and went ahead to prepare another plate. He followed me into the kitchen and I told my mom I wasn't hungry, so she wrapped my food up putting it in the refrigerator. Mom had already ate and left us alone in the kitchen. It was awkward since we barely knew each other. I cleaned off his plate after he finished and washed it. He stared at me as if he were trying to analyze me.

I coughed purposely to strike up the nerve for conversation "So why do you skip class", his elbow was on the table as he supported his head with his palm. I started making tea to have something to do since I was too nervous to sit or stand still. "I'm a delinquent", he answered shortly making me even more curious than before. The water boiled on the stove and he stood up closing in on me. Somehow the aura around him changed and I felt pressured "What's your motive? Am I part of your game?", vertical lines formed between his eyebrows but his eyes seemed wistful. 

Cornered I tried to search for the perfect answer, unsure of what I could say that he would want to hear. I knew too little about him. I stared and bit my bottom lip, the truth? Is that what you want, am I allowed to?

"I don't know..", I mumbled in a hushed tone before pushing him gently, so I could relax a little before continuing "For the first time I told the truth, you also make me curious. I wonder why isn't he here or will I see him in the alleyway today", the words came out in a flow and again his facial expression was blank. How cold.

"I don't play friends", he stated cooly before leaving the house, closing the house door carefully. The rest of the evening I couldn't get what happened out of my mind. Scenarios kept running through my head and I wondered what was wrong with me. Since when did I have urges? Since when have I had the right to want something? No, too much thinking. I wanted to turn my mind off, so I texted Mikasa goodnight before falling asleep.


	5. Pity

\--dream--

"Hey, don't cry", a strange shadow patting my head told me. We sat in the middle of nowhere and suddenly the light had grown darker and a voice growled "Its all your fault".

\--reality--

I jolted awake trying to catch my breath, looking around me before sighing. It was just a nightmare. I pulled my blanket off and headed to the bathroom to pour water over my face. I went back to sleep afterwards, yet not long after my alarm woke me up.  
My eyes wandered the desk to hit the dismiss button before looking to see it was already 11. Mom came by my room "Eren, get up. You need to get yourself fixed up, you can't sleep all day", she stood in my doorway until I had finally sat up and told her I'd get ready. My phone had 3 new notifications.

\----  
Private chat

Mikasa: Wanna meet after your therapy session?

Groupchat

Armin: Let's hang after school

Annie: My place after 2

\----  
Oh yeah, I had to go to the Therapist today. Mom made me go even though I told her it wasn't necessary. I replied that I'd be over at 4 with Mikasa after my appointment and with that got up to shower. I took the train into the city and made my way into the direction of the therapists office. This place filled me with resentment.

"Oh, Hi Eren", she offered me a pity smile telling me to sit down. I sat in the red leather chair across from her black office chair. Her legs were crossed as she held onto to the notebook where all of our conversations were recorded in. The room looked exactly the same as I looked around, empty and neat. "So how have you been", she asked as she opened the book already writing words down before I had the chance to reply. "Good", I kept it short and she simply nodded while humming. "Your friends? Girlfriend?", she questioned.

"Happy and hopeful", I answered dully wishing I could have been at home. But I really didn't want to be there either. She kept on querying me thus I either lied or dully responded. She thanked me for coming at the end of our hour and I left after excusing myself. Mikasa picked me up from a store close by and started to interrogate me as well. It was a bit more difficult to answer without answering, so I used my perfected get her to stop talking about it tactic.

I took her hand pulling her into a kiss and asking her to tell me about her day. Dazed she told me about what she did this morning and forgot about my appointment. She held my hand until we got to Annies house. 

Somehow I wasn't feeling like this could be a distraction and the feeling of just being with them to be happy wasn't existent. I'm sure everyone has their own autopilot, right when they aren't able to think straight. The rest of the day I had it on while playing with the others. "Right Eren?" were the only words I needed to listen out for.

As usual I took Mikasa home and told her I loved her before leaving. It was already dark and I passed by the alleyway, no one or anything was there of course. I continued walking with a weird feeling that formed in my stomach. The rest of the weekend passed by dreary.

On Monday, as soon as I reached the classroom with Mikasa. My eyes roamed the room and to my surprise he was actually there. Our eyes met but he turned away and a weird feeling passed through my body. Well I let it be and continued walking to my seat next to Armin. Yet my eyes stayed on him the rest of the day.   
School was over and it went by kind of blurry. 

I made my way home and suddenly an electric shock flowed through my body. I was kneeling on the ground and nothing made sense. Moving felt painful and forms gathered around me, one reached for me therefore I reacted scared smacking the form away from me before coming back to reality. "D-don't touch me", I stumbled back hurrying to get up before I clearly saw his face. No. That was that face of pity. He was looking down on me. I ran away not looking back afraid of facing myself or him. Mom wasn't home thankfully, so I headed to my room closing my door. 

After calming down, I showered and headed straight to bed. I didn't have much of an appetite.


	6. Act

"Wanna get ice cream after school", Mikasa asked as all four of us sat on the stairs to the rooftop since the door was locked. Armin and Annie were in their own world while Mikasa sought for attention from me. "Sorry, my mom needs me after school", guilt filled me as I lied through my teeth and grew worse as she gave me a heartwarming understanding smile. 

I came home to an empty house and looked through the fridge however I didn't have an appetite, so I left it be. On the other hand it was empty and I'm sure mom would've wanted to go shopping. I grabbed money putting my shoes on at the door before leaving.

Another pass by, I sighed as I tried my best not to look but lost anyway as curiosity got the best of me. My eyes widened and I stopped in track, it was him although he wasn't alone. Five against one, he was kicking ass but suddenly someone pulled out a knife which he hadn't noticed. Before I could realize it, my feet moved on their own and I punched the guy with the knife watching as he stumbled back surprised. 

Levis eyes widened as he realized it was me , I grabbed his wrist and we took off running. When I felt we were far enough, I stopped and tried to catch my breath. We were in a empty park and the air was chilly. "Are you fucking insane", Levi calmly asked hence I bursted out in laughter, that was the first time in a long time I had felt that much joy. "That was pretty funny", as crazy as I might have seemed I stood there laughing as he stood there staring at me before cupping his face into his hands sighing. A mutter came from his direction and before I could ask him what he said he already asked another question.

"What's your deal, Yeager", I rose an eyebrow, stopped to think and simply came to no conclusion as I shrugged my arms. I started walking in the direction of the store as his eyes followed my movements unsure . "Let's go, Ackerman", strangely enough he obeyed despite what had happened in the last few days. We went shopping together and he helped me carry the bags back to my house. I couldn't read him either, he wonders what my motive is and goes along with it anyway. 

I put up the items and put on tea, it reminded me of the last time I had tried to make tea. "Its obvious", he was the first one to break the silence as he drank his tea in a fascinating way. His fingers held the rim of the mug making the handle look useless "What is?", I replied watching him drink his tea. He leaned closer relaxing and staring right back at me and smirked "Your staring habit", his gaze had me trapped and my face felt like it was suddenly on fire. I quickly averted my eyes and focused on my tea mug in front of me. "Is it uncomfortable", I felt bad, worried I had bothered him. He finally put his cup down and ran his finger over our woodlike table before returning his attention back to me.

"You don't have to keep up the act, I see through it, especially with that pathetic girlfriend", I slammed my hands onto the table and snarled "Don't talk bad about Mikasa", he put his hands up playing innocent while his facial expression showed amusement. "How does it feel? Faking love?", he questioned in a low pitched voice, like some switch had been flipped as he enjoyed my reactions. I was taken aback and couldn't find the words I wanted. 

He supported himself on the table as he got up and headed towards the door "Don't need excuses. Stop looking for me if you're gonna keep it up", his words pierced into me and added fuel to the anger. "You're an asshole", I spouted and he applaused praising me before leaving me there alone in that house. 

I couldn't concentrate the next few days, everything felt off and the putting on a perfected act took more energy than usual leaving me with none at the end of the day. 

It was Saturday and I had took the train into the city, but I had canceled my therapy session for that day telling her beforehand so she wouldn't call my mother and worry her.


	7. Curiosity Got The Best Of Me

I walked through the city unable to think straight. I had no idea what to do or what I was feeling. However the feeling of not belonging grew making me uncomfortable in the crowd of people.

"No friends. What a sight", startled I turned to see him standing across from me with that blank face. His hands pocketed in his tight black jeans, he had a snug black turtle neck on that displayed the muscles he had, not surprising considering he was a delinquent. He was way more good looking than I thought, his bruises had also faded, whereas I had my hair in a bun and put on the first thing I saw. 

"Somehow you turn into a bigger dick each time we meet", he nods with his head instructing me to follow him. Curiosity got the best of me and I ended up running to catch up with him. We ended up on a half broken bridge far from the city with a view of it all. He sat down waiting for me to sit next to him. I stood for a few more seconds unable to process the situation.

"So you decided to drop the good guy act", my comment from before hadn't slipped past him. Even though he did make me act me out of my comfort zone, it took a burden off of me. I didn't have to pretend and his presence wasn't bad. "Fuck you", he chuckled then placing his hand on my head. My body froze and my head slowly rotated to look at him and I received that heartwarming smile Mikasa would give me but somehow his smile made my heart tug, it must've been the discomfort.

He pulled his hand back and averted his stare back towards the city. "My dream is to play the piano", the words came out of nowhere, but they definitely came from his lips. He then stood up showing me his phone, it was already 3 pm and the train was coming in half an hour. 

"I don't have a dream", I declared in a gentle tone as we were on our way to the station. "I know, Yeager". I wondered what he meant by that. How could he had known. Somehow Levi was harder to decipher than myself. 

We rode the same train back and parted ways at the station, but he gave me his contact info before leaving. Didn't he say he doesn't do friends. I stared at it the rest of the day unable to contact him due to being too nervous.

"Eren, wake up", my mom shook me awake and I sat up groggy unaware of having fallen asleep. "I made breakfast, since you didn't eat yesterday", I groaned and stretched out my arms, mom took a step back folding her hands and smiling. "Thanks mom, but I'm not hungry right now. I'll eat later", mom nodded and left the room, when did I even fall asleep last night I thought as I picked up my phone. 15 missed calls and messages of course.

\----  
Private chat

Mikasa: where are you?  
  
Study group is today? I'm worried

Please answer..Eren?

Private chat

Armin: not intriguing. Text us back.

Group chat

Eren: Sorry guys, stayed in the city a bit longer. Errands and came home. Fell right asleep XD. Mom just woke me up 😴

Mikasa: Idiot <3, don't make is us worry. Are u coming today?

Armin: So we can ambush you.

Eren: Yeah lol

Mikasa: Alright, my place at 2

Annie: Alright

Armin: Annie..♥

Eren: Ew, get a rooom XDD

\----

Time passed slowly before I had to leave to go to Mikasa. 

She came outside greeting me with a hug. The words Levi said crept into mind, but I knew I loved Mikasa I believed as I embraced her hug despite the lingering feeling in my stomach. We came inside to see Armin on Annie's lap and picked on them. My friends worries had disappeared and I was in the safe zone again.

I sat at home after spending the day at Mikasas looking over the digits he put into my phone. I bit my lips as I finally managed to send off the first text.

\----  
Private chat

Eren: Hey

Levi: look who decided to text

Eren: Oh, I can delete and block if you'd like 

Levi: my heart, how cold

Eren: psh, I'm not cold

Levi: what a tsundere. What have u been up to?

Eren: at my girlfriends house

Levi: did you have fun? Honest answers only

Eren: no

Levi: did they

Eren: thats all that matters

Levi: let's go on a date tomorrow, so you can have fun too

Eren: if you come to school without skipping

Levi: is Eren Yeager worried about me?

Eren: shut up

Levi: haha. Goodnight Yeager

Eren: Night Ackerman

\----

I couldn't fight the smile I had rereading the messages. I couldn't wait for tomorrow.


	8. Arcade

"I'm hanging out with Levi after school", they went silent and gave me the reaction I was expecting. They stared at one another before looking back at me. "Eren, since when have you two been close. He's a bad influence", Mikasa was the first to speak up, rejecting what I had declared even though I hadn't asked her opinion.

I never went against what Mikasa told me to do, I always held her decision for right. So going against her word wasn't a part of my perfected image nor was hanging out with most outstanding guy in class. 

"You don't know what he's like", she scoffed in a I would know better than you way. "He's always covered in bruises and late to class. Hanging out with someone like him is a bad influence", the words were like poison, deadly and cold. I glared at her and rage welt up inside my chest. I jolted upright , turning to leave as I felt someone grab my wrist. Blind with anger I pulled my hand back and walked to the door slamming it behind me. 

"Eren", the person in front of me said soothingly, it was Levi. Seeing him made the anger disappear, it was rare seeing him look like that. Concern etched his face as he pulled me to the side to make room for the others. "Once they get to know you..then they'll understand", I whispered with my head down to hide the look on my face. He probably had no idea what I was talking about. "We're still going on that date right", I sought reassurance.

Levi gave me a nod and patted me on my head. I asked him to go ahead so I could regain my composure. Mikasa came up from behind me preventing that and words came up before I could stop them. "You were in the dead wrong, Mikasa. That was not okay", her eyes had become dazed and her bottom lip trembled before she walked away with a dejected look on her face, Annie going after her.

Armin stood by me and placed his hand on my shoulder. "She's just overprotective, don't worry. We're all worried about you hanging with the wrong crowd", confusion filled me as I looked down at him, I didn't want to please her. I wanted her to understand me. I sighed "Armin..you know he isn't a bad guy", I wanted Armin to at least understand. He knew what bad guys were and looked like, I hoped he saw what I could see. I needed him to be on my side. "I know Eren", he mumbled before heading back to the classroom.

Levi and I left the classroom together. Mikasa and Annie had left before us, Armin left us at the school gate before saying goodbye. "Hungry?", he asked looking over at me with that usual deadpan face. I shook my head and he stared at the ground to most likely think of other places. "Arcade", he stated then grabbing my wrist. I never been to the arcade before since Mikasa always studied and worried about our future whereas Armin was an introvert and felt uncomfortable in huge crowds. 

My heart couldn't help but beat faster as I felt excitement when we walked into the building. "No farces, tell me where and what.", I held out my pinky and he stared at me blankly, but wrapped his around mine. "Its a promise", its something I use to do with my father. So it was one of the least things of importance to me. The fact that Levi didn't laugh at me and actually went along with it made me feel happy.

We spent all afternoon playing games and it was actually fun, there were games where I felt uncomfortable and voiced my opinion. Levi always listened and made sure I was comfortable. Our last stop was a crane game. I tried first but lost, following with another six tries. The machine had taken all my money and Levi gave it a go. He went for the same one I went for, winning it on his first go. "Why did you want this one so badly?", it was the colossal titan from my favorite manga aka anime series. "I'm a closeted Otaku", he gave the titan another glance before looking back at me and grunting. 

"Are you sure you aren't hungry?", he asked as we were on our way home. I nodded and he stopped asking. Levi walked me home worried someone could attack me from the people I encountered twice. Mom was home and insisted on Levi staying for the night. "Actually I'd like it if you stayed over", I agreed with mom surprising him. He gave in following me upstairs.


	9. Please Levi

There was only one Futon in my room, so we had to share. After he showered, I went in. I was pretty tired meaning we turned off the lights after showering and laid in the futon together. 

"Did you have fun today, Yeager?", he whispered as he turned to face me and I looked away at the ceiling embarrassed of feeling his gaze on me. He drew nearer as I answered him "Yes". 

"Are you lying", I shook my head even though he most likely couldn't see it due to the dark, but he didn't say anything else, so I tried coming up with another subject. "Levi, why-", as soon as I turned my face towards his, his hand covered my eyes and his lips pressed against mine. I almost lost myself and gave in before pushing him back and abruptly sitting up. "I'm sorry", he mumbled. 

I looked down at him and sighed. "I'll pretend it didn't happen. Okay. Please Levi", I painfully begged in a hushed voice. I took his silence as my answer and laid back down with my back turned to him. I felt like crying but didn't understand why, it must be because I love Mikasa and didn't want to ruin the friendship between Levi and I. 

\---the next morning---

The next morning was like any other, other than the fact I couldn't get the kiss out of my head. But I let it be and pushed it down so we could continue like nothing happened. Mikasa was at the school gates waiting and glared as she saw Levi walking next to me. A sigh escaped me whilst Levi rose an eyebrow in amusement "Have fun with that".

He deserted me in front of an angry girlfriend, who would definitely be even madder if she knew what happened. "You're even walking to school together now", she commented to which I nodded and she rolled her eyes. I swallowed my pride to win back the perfected image I had worked on. "I'm sorry Mika..sa", she looked astonished as I grabbed her hands looking deep into her eyes, to which her guard was let down "You're sorry", she questioned as I nodded again.

"Yes, but he is a nice guy, so please believe in me, Mikasa", a blush crossed her face and that was my relief signal. 

I guess being at school now was even more exhausting than I was use to, Levi must've thought the same since he skipped today. Why would he come with me even though he wasn't gonna come to class I wondered. 

I walked towards the gates and there he was leaning against the wall. He was in the same unwashed clothes from yesterday. I unconsciously waved secretly happy as I stopped in front of him. Mikasa had the opposite reaction and scowled upon seeing his face. "Let me take you home", I nervously looked at Mikasa who looked at me waiting to see what I would say. "Its the least I could do, he did come all this way. I'll walk you tomorrow, promise", her eyebrows furrowed as she clicked her tongue letting out a sharp "Fine", before leaving us. 

Dizziness hit me and I crouched down ,as she left, on the sidewalk. "Sorry I feel a bit unwell", I managed to say despite the pain of my inner stomach. He pulled me up supporting me by wrapping his right arm around my waist and pulling my arm on his shoulders. "You stink", I laughed out.

He snorted at my comment, taking my keys out of my pocket to unlock my front door.   
Levi sat me on a chair and I took a deep breath before lifting my head to look at him. "Go shower", he obeyed leaving me in the kitchen. 

Tea was on the stove and food was on the table as he came out of the shower with only a towel below his waist. I felt my face heat up before I wheezed surprised looking away. I rushed past him to get upstairs to lend him clothes "Sorry, I shouldve left you clothes", he thanked me furthermore I closed the door heading downstairs. 

Mom was coming through the door as I got to the last step. Her face lit up as she saw me and her motherly smile shone "Hey sweetheart", she took her shoes off then examining the other pairs of shoes by the front door. She sat at the table as I placed a cup of tea before her next to her plate.

Levi came downstairs and greeted my mother before sitting down before his share of food. "Aren't you hungry darling", mom asked before starting to eat. I shook my head and smiled telling her to eat.


	10. Don't Ask Me

"I'm sorry, my clothes are a bit too tight on you", he took the jacket I handed him putting it over the dark green T-shirt he wore from my closet. I gave him the bag of his freshly washed clothes too "Its fine", he walked out the door closing it behind him. 

Dizziness caught me off gaurd as I used the wall to support my weight. I decided to walk upstairs to lie down for a bit so it would go away. 

\---the next day---

Mikasa took me another way so Levi wouldn't have the chance to stop us. "Want to go on a date on Sunday", I asked as we walked hand in hand, her response was a happy nod. 

Not two seconds later the date with Levi came to mind, maybe Mikasa would enjoy the arcade. I looked over at the smaller being next to me and sighed unnoticed. She's not responsible for doing the bothersome things I want to do, I need to be the one to make her happy. 

\---the weekend---

I took her shopping with money I had been saving for days like these. Then we went to a restaurant, her smile rarely faded and the guilt inside of me began to grow weaker. At the end of our date, she placed her hands on my chest leaning closer for a kiss, which I without thinking pulled back. Mikasa took a step back confused. An excuse, whatever made sense. "S-sorry, too much garlic", she laughed at the response. 

That one action made the guilt that built up in me even worse. I took her home and kissed her on the cheek. It felt abnormal, I felt disgusted. The reason why was unclear to me, she headed inside waving before closing the door. 

\----  
Phone call outgoing

Levi: Eren?

Eren:..

Levi: Are you alright?

Eren: No. I want to see you

Levi: Me? It must be Christmas

Levi heard a chuckle from the other end of the line and felt reassured

Eren: I'm coming to the Alleyway. Hurry up

Levi: Ok

\----

Levi sat on one of the old looking boxes that always sat in the alleyway. His stare fixated on me as soon as he noticed me coming, "So, what can I do".

I stopped in front of him and my arms remained by my side. For some reason the enormous weight fell over me and it was hard to say anything or move a finger. "Don't ask me", Levi pulled me towards him into a hug, at the moment nothing else mattered. His warmth made me cry, tears fell without warning. I wrapped my arms around his torso and eventually the tears stopped falling and he told me to get on his back.

"I went on a date with Mikasa today", I hesitantly but suddenly broke the silence between us. Facial expression, thats what I wanted to see, his face as I said that, but I couldn't. "Did you have fun, Yeager?", I nodded and he sighed laughing sadly "What a bad liar", of course he knew. He always knows.

\---the next morning---

Light shone into my eyes as I opened them. I sat up looking at the time on my phone. 6:30, I had to get up and ready. He didn't stay over I thought as I felt the empty space beside me that he should have been lying in.

Mom fretted after I got up making sure I was okay. She finally let me go after I promised to watch myself. The urge to not go was stronger than ever. However I couldn't worry everyone, so happy face. 

Daily routine, she came running. I swung her around. Armin comes and comments. We go to the classroom. It was always one or the other.

Lunch break came sooner than I thought it would. My friends wanted to go to the rooftop to eat lunch. As soon as I stood up to follow my legs gave out and before I knew it I blacked out.

When I came to, Mikasa sat next to my bed and held my hand. She looked dejected and confusion came over me as I tried to sit up, looking around. Mikasa let go off my hand "What-..what happened", her eyes driftied to the side full of hate. "You fainted all of a sudden and he hurried carrying you all the way here not letting us come near you. He didn't even want to let me come in here", bitterness was all that could be heard and she placed her hands on her face pulling them back. 

"This is his fault, isn't it", Mikasa asked but before I could protest the nurse came in. The door slided open and she pushed her glasses up with a finger "You're gonna have to leave now", the nurse smiled at Mikasa and Mikasa nodded, grabbing her bag and bowing her head before leaving. 

"Mr. Yeager, how long have you been starving yourself?".


	11. Eat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays everyone ~°❆。ヾ(*´▽｀*)ﾉ❄°。

The question took me by surprise, I was eating just fine. Last time I ate was, I didn't know the answer but I knew I did eat. Maybe I forgot to breakfast this morning.

"But I don't refuse food", the nurse looked at me and wrote something down on the clipboard. Before I could ask what she was writing, the door slid open and Levi came inside. The nurse looked irritated at first but by a second glance amused as she saw his face. "I told you to wait outside".

He continued to walk towards me with a slight hostile aura and I thought he might kill me. "Nothing you do will help him. Hanji please let me take him", his voice sounded sad but I didn't see it on his face. He wasn't giving me the pity look I expected, his face was calm and collected. I wondered what was going through his mind.

The nurse looked at him and grinned beforehand looking at me with her usual work face. She wanted my consent and I gave a small nod. In a flash I was picked up wrapping my arms around his neck so I wouldn't fall. "Levi, I'm capable of walking", I said as we got to the classroom yet he ignored me placing me on a desk before picking up our bags. "Get on my back", he demanded, there was no sign in his tone that made it possible for me to argue.

We stopped at a small ramen shop and Levi handed me a menu as he looked over his own. "I'll just have what you have", I concluded since I couldn't bring myself to find anything good looking. Was I being like this the whole time?

He ordered two bowls of cutlet pork ramen and minutes later they sat the bowls in front of us. The feeling of realizing of what the nurse told me overwhelmed me, I felt nothing as I stared at the perfectly portioned bowl of ramen before me. "Eat" he exhorted as he picked up his chopsticks breaking them apart. 

I overcame the will not to eat, slurping my noodles down, as soon as I tasted the first few. I gulfed the whole bowl down unaware of how hungry I had been. After days of feeling dizzy and tired, this satisfying feeling of satiety overcame me.

Levi walked me home without asking questions or talking me to death. We simply walked home together in silence. As we got to my door, he looked up at me from the bottom of the steps. "Levi", his eyes pierced through me and I felt embarrassed trying to avoid facing the look he was giving me. It made me wanna, I don't know. What did I want from Levi.   
"Yeager", his voice softly reverted back to me and I knew I wanted him to stay by me.

"Sleep over", he walked up the steps giving me the go ahead to go in meaning he'd stay.

"How was school boys", my moms voice made me freeze up and I didn't know what to answer. "It was great, we ate Ramen after school", Levi swept in to save me and mom was pleased thereafter talking to us a bit before we could go upstairs.

"I told Mikasa I love her", I suddenly blurted out as we watched my favorite attack on titan movie. For some reason his head was on my shoulder however I had no desire to push him away. "Is that something new?", he questioned focusing more on the movie than what I said. "It's not. Its just one day I'll marry her and have kids but you'll be their uncle right", my life was already planned by everyone else around me but Levi was the one who I wanted no matter what anyone said. I wanted to be friends with him forever, he was the only friend who understood me. He'd be a great uncle.

"Sure", the tone of his voice was the same as ever. Clear and cold.


	12. Do You Love Her

The following two days, I was unable to see Levi and Mikasa was even more overbearing than usual. The facade to present myself perfect made it harder to deal with school and my friends.

\---Wednesday---

Mikasa hugged me from behind and poked into my side. "My parents aren't home, want to come over", I never understood the whole guys going crazy over sex thing. Mikasa always initiated it. I didn't enjoy it but I enjoyed making her happy. "Alright Mika", she suddenly blushed and smiled at me. "You haven't called me Mika in so long", I didn't even notice, how weird. Kind of annoying how everyone noticed things about me I did not. 

After school I went home first to let her get ready and prepare myself mentally. As three hit I left the house to head to hers. 

I stood before her door hesitantly but gave in and knocked. She opened the door in her robe and welcomed me in. She pulled me upstairs to her bedroom and softly kissed my lips. Even though it was a kiss with my girlfriend, it felt wrong. She stepped back after a few minutes and gazed at me confused. "Am I not attractive?".

I needed an excuse but how could I lie my way out of not being able to get hard. "No, you're absolutely beautiful", I pulled her towards me and kissed her again. Out of nowhere Levi came to mind as we kissed and the soft touch of his lips that night. 

As we kissed his face was in mind, I wasn't kissing my girlfriend but him, I imagined his hands roaming my body. My member reacted to the fantasies my mind created. 

Afterwards Mikasa was pleased while I was still in shock over getting hard for someone other than my girlfriend. I was a horrible human being.

\----  
Private chat

Levi: I bet you miss me  
Levi: I'm hungry, let's get food  
Levi: maybe I could stay over and help your mom pack too

\----

I kept rereading the messages in my head. Why did his messages make me extremely happy. I looked over at Mikasa and cleared my throat. Am I about to make the right decision.

"My mom needs me", she looked at me and smiled. We both put our clothes on and I somehow managed to dodge her kiss at the end before leaving.

\----  
Private chat

Eren: usual spot

\----

This time I waited for Levi to arrive. I saw him coming from a mile away however my face felt warm since I had just used him to get off. "Have you eaten", Levi asked indicating his worry. "Yeah, yesterday morning but my appetite disappeared so I couldn't afterwards", levi stretched his arm out offering me his hand which I without thought took. We ended up at a burger place and looked at each other before I averted my gaze first and went in first.

Levi was almost done with his food as I felt the need to tell him about Mikasa. "I had sex with her", Levis expression rarely changed. He always had a emotionless facial expression, however his eyes widened and his brows scrunched together. "Why are you telling me this", I played with the napkin ripping it piece by piece out of nervousness before meeting his eyes.

"Because thats where I was before I came here", his face relaxed and I swear his ears turned red. Then it hit me, I like him. I was into Levi. My friends do tell me I'm slow, but what did it matter? No matter how much I like him, I could never be with him. That would be satisfying my own needs and I didn't deserve him. 

How troublesome, since when had I felt this yearnful for someone.

When we got home, we helped mom pack her bags talking about her trip and Levi staying over. Afterwards we showered and got into the same futon.

"I just noticed this has become a normal thing. You sleeping over", I turned over to face him, he placed his hand on mine and intertwined our fingers. "Eren, do you love her?", I already knew who he meant and bit down on my bottom row of teeth to hold myself back from kissing him right then. "Yes. Of course I love her", I scooted back and turned my face. The atmosphere was a bit awkward since he didn't answer. Nonetheless we didn't let go of the grip of each others hands. 

Finally Levi laughed bitterly before displaying his annoyance with a tch. "What a complicated relationship we have, Yeager".


	13. I've ruined my mask

I did like you Levi, but I was too scared to find out how you felt about me. Do you love this disgraceful side of myself I show you.

\--dream--

A nonshaped figure stood before me. Again blood was all over me and I couldn't move. 

Someone patted my head but in the next moment I heard dark growling that turned into laughter. "Its all your fault!".

\--reality--

I jolted up in a sweat before realizing I was at home and Levi was besides me. The nightmares were coming back, fuck. I laid back down to ensure Levi wouldn't wake up to fall back asleep myself.

\---Morning---

Levi took me to school the next day, yet instead of leaving like he usually would. He stuck by my side.

On one hand Armin and Annie said nothing however they seemed on the verge of asking, on the other hand Mikasa was brooding anger. She finally snapped at lunch "Why won't you stay away from Eren, he's already been acting different ever since you two started talking", Mikasa confronted him while he was helping me eat the Bento mom made, since he was the only one who knew about my eating problem.

Before I could step in to protect him, he sat the Bento on my lap and looked at her with the most unbothered facial expression. "Oh, you mean him actually being happy or maybe me actually paying attention to him and not talking about myself 24/7?", in the spur of the moment, I saw Mikasa lift her hand and swiftly smack him across the face. He immediately stood up and headed for the door to leave, I scrambled up but Mikasa grabbed the sleeve of my uniform.

"Is he more important than me", I pulled my hand back and all I could see was red as I looked upon her. "Don't fucking touch me", startled she let her hand fall mid air and I ran after Levi. I caught up to him grabbing his wrist. He turned to look at me unfazed. "Im sorry, Levi".

Unexpectedly he placed his head on my shoulder and my hand ended up on his head while my fingers ran through his hair. After a while he stood up properly "I'm going to leave now, I'll pick you up after school. Okay.", I couldn't hold it against him and watched him leave reluctant of what I should do.

Armin came to me before I could leave the school by my locker as I was switching my shoes.   
"She was in the wrong", confused I looked at him but received a smile back from him as a response. He looked away out the door before looking back at me. "Its true that the Eren I grew up with is starting to disappear. Ever since that day 5 years ago, Mikasa is mad she wasn't the one, she thought she knew you the most. You never opened up but its different with him isn't it. I can tell he's a good guy. Just remember I'm on your side no matter what".

He punched me in the arm before leaving, I slowly walked outside and Levi ,as he promised, was waiting on me. As I set my eyes on him, they swelled up. He rushed by my side noticing the tears streaming down my face. Its been so long since I cried. "Who", his words sounded deadly as he cupped my face wiping my tears away. "N-no, its not..not like that", I sobbed out. 

He dragged me to the back of the school where we sat below the windows while I cried. After I calmed down, I looked over at him and the words poured out about everything I've been feeling. 

"I've been skipping the therapy appointments for the last three weeks, I've ruined my mask I worked so hard on. I'm tired, my nightmares have returned", I finally finished speaking and my eyes felt heavy from crying and I felt tired from the whole incident. I could tell he listened and it didn't make me feel guilty that he had to listen. My mind didn't feel as jumbled when I was with Levi. 

"Oh..and worst part, I don't love Mikasa, it just made sense, more like I didn't care as long as I didn't have to think or decide. I'm such a shitty person", Levi turned me to him and wrapped his arms around me. I wanted to blurt it out, I wanted him to know I loved him instead but not before settling things with Mikasa. 

\---The next morning---

\----  
Call

Hospital: Is this Eren Yeager?

Eren: Yes?

Hospital: Your mother has been in an accident. Please come to the hospital

\----

The phone fell out of my hand.


	14. Hospital

I roughly shook Levi to wake him up, panicking I tried to catch my breath as I kept stuttering his name. 

He shot up and tried to calm me, asking what was wrong. "Mom..she's..hospital", he nodded understandingly then we rushed to get ready and ran to the hospital. 

"His mother has been in an accident, Mrs. Yeager?", the nurse looked at me and beared that pity smile I hated so much, I didn't have time to think about that. Where was mom. Levi was told to wait while I followed her into the room where mom was hooked up to a medicine pump. 

I headed back to Levi and sat next to him. "She's sleeping right now, I'm going to stay here until she wakes up. You can go home", Levi hit my head softly with the water bottle he held in his hand, telling me to drink afterwards. "I'll stay", he said before I handed the bottle back after drinking. 

I sat by her bed side and held her hand, Levi sat on the guest chair. 

"Are you going to continue dating her even though it hurts you", Levi asked as we were sent home, since visiting times were over. "Yeah", I whispered. It'd be better, just go back to the life thats planned out for you. Apologize and focus on their feelings. Don't think of yourself, dont be selfish. It was probably my selfishness that drove my mother into that accident. 

\--the next day--

Yesterday they told us she would be awake after a few hours but now they told me she was in a coma and couldn't tell me when mom would wake up.   
The vase I brought from home had flowers in them that I bought hoping she would be here awake. 

I walked home after talking to mom believing she could hear me, I heard stories where patients could hear everything.

When I arrived home, I got a call from Mikasa. We ended up making up over the phone. What the hell was I doing.

\---Friday---

"We wanted to go on a trip for the winter break", Mikasa said as we all sat on the top floor in school. They were eating but I forgot my Bento at home. Levi had stopped hanging out with me at school since that incident.  
"Can Levi come", I asked without thinking and everyone went silent for a second, probably unsure of how to reject what I had said. "Eren, its more of a couples trip", Mikasa said with an annoyed look on her face.

"Oh", I said before looking into the void losing interest in the conversation. Mikasa had apologized for what happened with Levi and to his face as well as stopped talking about him behind his back. However she couldn't hide her emotions whenever I brought up his name. Doesn't matter, tomorrow I don't have to be here anyway.

Mikasa kissed me goodbye in front of Levi at the school gates before going off with Annie to have a girls night. Armin tagged along with Levi and I to visit my mom. 

"How was school Yeager?", Levi asked as we three walked to the hospital together.  
"Maybe if you'd show up, you would know Ackerman", he snorted at my comment and walked faster leaving Armin and I behind.  
This was troublesome indeed. Armin ripped me out of my thoughts to tell me, we arrived.

We all entered the room and mom was peacefully laying there. "Hey mom", I greeted before sitting besides her cold, plain hospital bed. "Armin came to visit with us today. I really wish you'd wake up before Christmas, mom. I already got your present", the sight became unbearable for me and I had to get up leaving the room "Bye mom, I love you", I muttered before sliding the door closed. "Done already?", Armin questioned and I sighed before nodding. 

We separated ways with Armin, heading to my house. "Are you leaving again?", I asked and he avoided my gaze as he had been doing the past few days. He would take me to mom after school, feed me then leave. Today I lied and said I had already eaten in school because I knew if I ate, it would come back up. "Maybe you should call your girlfriend if you're feeling lonely, Yeager", emotionless face to match his emotionless voice. He was right though, I needed to stop clinging to him. That didn't mean it didn't hurt.

He took a deep breath and sighed before running his fingers through his hair agitated and leaving. As he walked away, my stomach turned. I slammed the door closed and fell onto my knees, just sitting in the hallway, unaware of everything around me. All I understood was the feeling of exhaustion. I slept for the rest of the day not that the nightmares let me sleep easily.


	15. All This Trouble

Saturday morning I woke up to my phone vibrating. The caller ID belonged to Levi but I didn't feel like answering, so I ignored it turning my phone off. I laid it under my pillow before going back to sleep.

"Get the fuck up", a voice harshly said as my cover was ripped from me. At first I thought it was another dream as I saw Levi but I realized it wasn't a dream as I sat up.

I looked over at my window, after feeling a draft, that was open even though I had closed it. "Did you break into my house", I received a glare which made me flinch back, since Levi didn't get mad easily. He clicked his tongue before going to my closet .

He took a change of clothes out and threw them next to me "Get dressed" he slowly demanded in a threatening tone. I looked at the clothes yet couldn't find a single motivation to move as I laid back down staring out the window that was still open. 

His face clearly showed that he didn't have the patience but I didn't want to go outside, I just wanted to sleep, maybe even forever. Levi knelt before me and sighed before moving a few strains of hair out of my face. "The things I'd do for you", he exclaimed before picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder.

He ran the bathwater and proceeded to undress me. As he placed me into the bath I couldn't help but feel absolutely embarrassed. "Lay your head back", he softly commanded and I obeyed. The smell of lavender filled the bathroom as he washed the suds out of my hair. His hand covered my eyes as the water ran down my face. 

He soon asked me to stand up and gave me a towel. "Go get dressed so I can dry your hair", I wasn't sure why he would go through all this trouble for me but I couldn't help but smile. However at the same time it pained me since it made me fall harder for him. I walked downstairs to the living room where he waited with a blowdryer and a brush. 

When he finished, he pulled my head back and stared at me. "Yeager, you're quite a handful", I sat up right again to hide my flushed face as he put my hair into a ponytail.

Levi took me into the city and made me follow him until we stopped at a familiar building. It was my therapists building, I wanted to turn and walk away but he stopped me. "Go talk to her, please.", I couldn't say no to him. He wasn't aware of this weakness though. I bit my bottom lip as I looked back at the building "Its useless", his face had a sad look on it and he seemed desperate to make me go inside. It was the least I could do for him. "Fine".

She lit up as she saw me and welcomed me inside. She sat ready in her brown chair with her clipboard and pen. Maybe I should give in, maybe she can help me. Instead of yes or no questions, she let me talk the entire session. At the end she gave me two tests to fill out. 

"I'm sorry about your mother, Eren. I wish her a fast recovery. However when she does wake up, I'll need to have a conversation with her. We'll also need to have two more sessions before I can make up my mind, but we can do this. I feel uneasy about you being alone at the moment, do you have no family you can stay at for a few days?", she explained, leaving a lot of questions unanswered that were roaming through my mind. 

"I have no family except mom, but I have a friend and I'm 18, so I should be able to watch myself with burdening others", she gave me her office number for emergencies and asked me to make sure I came next week. 

Levi sat out in the cold waiting for me. I rushed over to him and cupped his face. "Have you been out here an entire hour", his face was freezing and I took my scarf wrapping it around his neck. In the middle of it, I slowly took my hand back. "I'm tired", I stated and he nodded as he pulled me into a hug. Even though its freezing he makes me feel warm.

"I'll take you home", we headed in the direction of the station taking the train back. As we arrived at my house, I saw Mikasa sitting on the steps.


	16. My First Step

"You weren't picking up so I got worried", there she stood before me as she always did. Mikasa was absolutely beautiful no doubt and a great girlfriend. I knew deep down that someone deserved her who could cherish her and actually accept her as a girlfriend. 

Levi excused himself and left us alone. "Sorry. My phone is off and I was at my therapy appointment", she let out a relieved sigh and hugged me but it was uncomfortable, it made me freeze up. I gently pushed her back before gathering the courage to look at her. Confused she said my name. I let my arms drop and a sudden stomach turning pressure dropped onto me but I could fight it. My first step, I could do this.

"I'm sorry, Mikasa. Recently I haven't been a good boyfriend and I haven't been honest this entire year nor ever, not since 5 years ago. Today that changes, I love you but I am not in love with you.", at first she tried to smile but her lips faltered and her eyes squinted as tears filled them. "I know. We've all noticed", she choked out in a hushed voice. She grabbed onto my shirt and cried, I expected her to get angrier and curse at me, hit me but she didn't do any of that. 

Eventually she looked up at me with puffy eyes taking a step back as she wiped her face. "Bye Eren, see you Monday", that was another thing about Mikasa, she always managed to be strong and not pathetically like me. She cried or screamed it until she got it out and looked at things with a positive outlook. 

The pain inside me grew larger and the burden grew heavier as I watched her walk away, yet at the same time I felt hope grow inside me.

\---dream---

"Eren, its your fault.", echoes surrounded me repeating the same sentence over and over and over. In the dark a sudden flash of light blinded me.

\---back to reality---

Screaming I jolted awake, panting. I grabbed my face taking a deep breath to calm myself. I walked to the bathroom to splash water over my face.

The next two days went by quickly and tiring. Annie and Armin didn't know how to act around us, so Armin decided to stay by my side even though I was often spaced out and Annie stayed by Mikasa.

We walked the halls and suddenly stopped in front of the music room, where some students were gathering. An idea came to mind as I rushed into their clubroom surprising the majority. "Excuse me".

Levi was outside waiting as usual to take me to mom. "I forgot something, could you come with me to get it", he nodded before following me into school.

I stopped in front of the music room and headed inside. I turned my head to see his reaction and his eyes were widened as he looked around the room. It was most likely that he had never been here before.

"You always watch over me, basically always trying to make sure I'm okay when you yourself aren't completely fine. Today is your turn to let go", Levi hesitantly stepped into the room, his fingers tracing the yellowish piano keys. Its like he couldn't figure out what to do as he sat on the chair staring at the piano with a longing gaze.

"Yeager, you always manage to surprise me", I sat next to him placing one hand over his and pressing the keys for him, hoping he had calmed down. "Play for me, Ackerman", I whispered and he chuckled testing out the keys before he started playing a tune. 

He had finally relaxed and was like a whole different person, the Levi I saw amazed me. The amount of passion he put into pressing each key. "Its called 'You' by petit biscuit. It reminds me of you, Eren Yeager. Sadness yet happiness overwhelmes me. Scared of losing you and the mere sight of you sometimes drives me crazy", it wasn't as if the music was beautiful enough but his words had meant more than he could imagine.

"You've become such a crybaby", his fingers stopped pressing the keys and lifted towards my eyes to wipe away the tears that were streaming down my face. He laughed gently and I automatically nuzzled my cheek into the palm of his hand. It seemed to catch him off guard and I moved back. "Sorry", I somehow squeaked out. 

His hands returned to the keys as he started playing again "Its okay, thank you. Eren", his smile was too much. You're so unfair Levi I thought, do you have any idea how much words mean.


	17. Mental Health

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, Happy new years.   
> Thanks for reading this far, I'm really grateful so bear with me a little longer. The story is a bit longer than I thought but its worth it.

On Tuesday I finally got the phone call I'd been waiting for and rushed over to the hospital. 

"M..mom", her head jerked in my direction and her smile beamed happiness as she saw my face. "Excuse my being late sweetheart", she softly chuckled and I fell into her arms as she hugged me tightly holding back her own tears.

She then saw Levi after I finally let her go after he managed to say hi to her. "Hello hun, I take it you took care of my Eren. Thank you for your hard work", Levi sat in the guest chair and bowed out of politeness "No problem Auntie", mom lit up again pulling Levi into a hug which he didn't expect yet he hugged her back with a dismal smile. "I've never been called Auntie before, I like it".

Mom was released after a couple of hours and Levi helped me bring her home. I had her favorite ingredients in the refrigerator all ready to make her favorite dinner. "You kept the house clean, but it's quite chilly", she shuddered rubbing her arms. 

I brought her a blanket wrapping it around her therefore she thanked me. After cooking dinner, mom headed to bed early and I retreated to my room after cleaning the kitchen.

\----  
Private chat

Eren: thanks..

Levi: for?

Eren: everything  
  
10 minutes later

Levi: I miss you

Eren: same here

\----

His last text message made me smile as I texted goodnight and went to bed myself.

\---Saturday---

Mom came with me to my therapists appointment after she rested a week. She went in first to talk to my therapist, while I waited outside. I hadn't seen Levi since Tuesday or been in contact with him, which worried me a bit.

Teary eyed mom came outside and pulled me into a sudden hug. "Sorry sweetie, I was trying my best", she sniffled and I was a bit frustrated with my therapist not understanding what she said to mom. 

After my mom calmed down, I headed inside to see her where she always sat. She had my favorite, pity smile. A sigh escaped me as I sat down anxious to find out what everyone else around me knew. 

She asked me to explain how my week was and I truthfully explained how it went but I was hesitant about Levi. However I gave in telling her I missed him, that being the last sentence of my explanation. My doctor placed the two tests before me as well as small boxes.

"So after our two therapy sessions now three including this one and a private talk with your mother and school nurse. I've come to a conclusion. Both of your tests confirmed my diagnosis theories. You have depression which could grow worse if we don't treat it now which is why I have these pills, I'll come to them later though. Also slight ptsd considering your attacks when you come in contact with cars as well as your constant nightmares. I also can't take your eating disorder lightly, which is clearly a side effect of the growing depression. Whens the last time you ate a whole meal", she explained then asking a question I had no answer to.

"The last time I saw Levi", I muttered still processing what she had told me. I was fully aware of my eating situation but now she was dropping more on me. I didn't have depression, I was perfectly fine.

"I have medication to help you with your depression and PTSD, heres setraline, I suggest starting with 25 mg a day however write down what side effects you're having at the beginning and if its working, we'll increase your dosage and the second medication would be until you can normally eat again, that would be appetite stimulants. I understand you may not fully grasp the seriousness of your situation Eren and I need you to know I'm not forcing you, I can't but I also would like you to know, this is for your health", Mom and Levi popped into mind, if I could get better and clear up the constant fogginess.

"I'll take them, thank you very much", before I left she gave me a sheet with side effects that could occur and made sure I knew how to take my medication. Mom took me home in the car, she didn't know I had a fear of cars but we didn't drive a lot which made it bearable. Mom didn't huddle over me, thats what made her a great mom. She waited for me to be ready to talk.


	18. Silence

Monday came and it was becoming even more unbearable to be with my friend group especially since two others joined.   
Historia and of course Jean, who was glued by Mikasa's side 24/7. 

After school was finally over and I planned to make an excuse to go home alone but then I saw Levi waiting in front of the gate. I didn't pay attention to my friends or anyone as I ran towards him and hugged him. His arms wrapped themselves around me and it felt as if the whole world just froze. I stepped back "You ass, where were you", I gasped as I reached for his cheek as I recognized fresh bruises on his face. 

"Its doesn't matter, you don't need to worry", he said nonchalantly and I got angry clicking my tongue at him.   
"Bullshit, Ackerman. Its my business to worry", he looked at me with that unbothered face and grunted. Then he started walking ignoring me, but slowly so I could still catch up.

Mom let us inside when we got home, telling us to wash our hands and sit at the table. Mom had gotten two weeks off of work due to her accident, so she was making sure I ate.

"Hey, Levi stay over tonight, please", I pleaded as he wanted to head back downstairs, I used my innocent face but he tried to avert his gaze. "Fine. Yeager", he gave in walking downstairs but I went into my room first to change.

On my way down, I missed a step and fell to the ground. All of a sudden, I felt off and someone tried to grab me but I whimpered scared "No, no..don't touch me", I came back to my senses as he backed up and my mind cleared up and identified Levi. Mom was standing in the door way hesitant "Haha, sorry..", I awkwardly apologized but mom had a hurt look and came over to crouch down and hug me.

Levi helped us both up. We went into the kitchen to sit down and eat. Mom placed my medication and food in front of me. I swallowed the pills with water before I started to eat. 

"Mom, I'm okay. I just fell", I stated as I felt the silent meal was my fault. She looked up at me and sighed "Sweetheart, I'm your mother, I'll always worry".

"What were those pills for", Levi asked as I made him do the work he missed the entire day. "Oh, yeah those. They're for my mental health, apparently I'm depressed. Which reminds me, did you talk to the school nurse about me?", he looked away as if he had done something wrong unsure what to answer. "Sorry, I was just worried", I lifted his head to make him look at me. 

If he showed rare emotions, I'd rather them not be sad or hurt ones. I pinched his nose and smiled at him, if he could read my thoughts, would he had been disgusted that I loved him and satisfied my own desires by being by his side.

Nighttime had come and we laid freshly showered in my single futon. "Yeager", he suddenly said making me jump a little. "I can feel your gaze piercing through me", my face felt warm and I quickly looked at the ceiling embarrassed of getting caught. 

All of a sudden, he was on top of me on his knees and his hands supported his body weight as they laid next to my face. Now he was the one whose grey eyes pierced through my green ones. 

"Do you still love her", deja vu hit me, since we've had this conversation before. I looked away to break myself away from the entrance he had me in. Unable to answer I laid there before feeling something wet drop on my face. 

I looked back upwards only to see Levi crying calmly above me. I've never seen Levi cry before I thought as my hand reached for his cheek the second time again however this time he let me touch him. "Do you love her", he repeated himself in a strained voice.

"No", I answered yet his tears didn't stop. He continued to stare down at me as he nervously chewed his bottom lip. "What..", he hesitated taking a deep breath before asking his question "What about me", my heart stopped as he awaited my answer.

My hand had dropped, I was too scared to answer. What was I supposed to say, what did he want to hear. Then I realized it wasn't about what he wanted to hear, it was about my honest answer. 

"So what if I love you", I wiped over his tear stained face before sitting up pushing him back gently. I sat on his lap and hid my face in his chest. 

The silence made my fear worse, but as I felt his arms wrap around me, it made sense. I connected the dots, the piano incident, the kiss, his smart remarks about my ex girlfriend, his caring for me. 

"Who's the cry baby now", I joked receiving a glare from him, but that finally got him to look at me. This time I grabbed his face and kissed him.


	19. Levi: 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another authors note;-;
> 
> So the next two chapters will be based on Levis past, they're not really meant to be that deepend but should be emotional and understandable so if any questions stay on ur minds after reading the next two chapters..just ask;-;

\---Levi's POV---

"He's taking up too much space and always gets into fights. Why do we have to deal with that wenches child", my aunt said on the phone unaware of my presence not that she would have cared if she knew I was standing there.

That day I decided to run away. I didn't need anyone, I was fine alone. I packed the few things I owned into my bag and grabbed my phone before looking around the cold, isolated room once more. I left for school however instead of going, I skipped as I often did. 

"Hey, Brat. Heard you messed with my guys. Let me your Senpai teach you a lesson", another pointless fight with another loser. After I beat them, I headed to find a job. I found a lonesome restaurant in a small part of town and had miraculously gotten the job.

After a few months I met two knuckle heads, Isabel and Farlan. They had been on their own like me. Farlan ended up working with me and Isabel worked at a bakery. Of course we lied about our age. Eventually we came together to rent an abandoned apartment and lived together.

"Levi, look at the birds", Isabel laughed as she ran in the direction they flew in. They flew together in flocks and I had stopped to watch them as well. Farlan was the worrywart, he told us to hurry before it got too cold outside. 

We arrived to our chilly two room apartment. We all took turns taking our 5 minute shower, longer than that wasn't allowed. We ate the dinner I made before going to bed and with bed, I meant the futon, Farlan and I shared. Isabel got one for herself, which was obvious why.

I didn't see a future for myself, but I was setting money aside so that they could have a chance to get out of here. I was content being alone with a quiet, peaceful life. 

"Levi, Levi. Look", Isabel busted into the apartment, while Farlan barked at her to close the door, excited. She quickly closed the door, ran over to me and ran back to the door to take her shoes off then running back to me. 

She gave me a poster while fidgeting, I read over it. "Piano competition, entry until 24.01. Prize is 12000 yen", I looked back up at her as she looked at me anticipated. "Remember you told us you use to play piano", I sighed and put the paper down. Those days were over, I played the piano as an excuse to escape everything but I wasn't a child anymore. I had gotten over that fantasy. 

"Thanks Isabel, but I won't be doing it", they both looked at me with a unsatisfied expression but refrained from saying anything.

I got home late one day, because the restaurant was busy until night and no one else was available, it just meant more money for me. Isabel and Farlan hadn't texted me and didn't pick up my calls so I assumed they were already asleep.

Wrong. 

The door was open and I found that peculiar since Farlan was keen on us being careful, he would check three time before going to bed if the door was locked. 

I walked inside taking my shoes off like always. I stepped into something wet on the way inside, my hands anxiously searched for the light switch. Red, the dark red liquid on the floor was as visible as day. My heart dropped as I saw the track of blood leading into the kitchen. 

"Fa..Far-LAN", I yelled panicked slipping on the blood struggling to get back up. "Isa-..", I flung the kitchen door open and stared upon the figures slouching in the corner of the room.

I lost all strength in my body somehow managing to make it to their bodies. Cold..as I touched Isabels cheek. A pool of blood was what I had crouched into. The sight of the two people I cared for dead, again. Again I had the image of their dead bodies scarred into my mind.

The apartment was completely destroyed due to my frustration and overwhelming sadness. I didn't contact the police right away and as soon as I did, I was brought into custody under the suspicion of homicide.

Eventually I was let go realizing nobody really cared about two runaways deaths. I then had to face the bitter truth about the unfairness of the world once again. So I had to bury them myself with the money we all had put together. 

The fighting got worse and I got fired from my job. It was the lowest I had been in life.


	20. Levi: 2

I turned 16 that dreadful year, spending it at Farlans and Isabels grave. 

Eventually I left that apartment not being able to stand the sight of it and ended up on the streets. One evening I had gotten beat the shit out of, I couldn't defend myself with my body being as weak as it was due to malnutrition. 

I sat on the sidewalk barely able to keep my eyes open and suddenly an umbrella was placed over my head. A boy with mesmerizing emerald eyes and short brown hair knelt before me placing a handkerchief against my cheek. Then he placed 3000 yen in my hand, words came from his lips but the rain and exhaustion drowned them out. I remember him running in the rain since he left me his umbrella.

The money was spent on food and I tried searching for work again, even though I had money set aside, it was a connection to them and I couldn't bring myself to touch it.

My search for work wasn't going well and the people who I fought with all looked down on me and broke what strength I had left. 

A second savior came as I was close to giving up again. This time it was an adult, a woman named Hanji. Thats how I got to meet my to be school nurse. I enrolled back into school for her out of gratitude and obligation. 

It had already been two years since that day, I was 18 now but was too scared to return to socializing.

Results were me skipping the first day of school on the roof. The lunch bell had rang and I was ready to give up and tell Hanji I wasn't capable, but on my way down the boy with the emerald eyes walked past me. He went to the roof with his friends not giving me a single glance. 

He had probably forgotten that pathetic person on the sidewalk but my curiosity got the best of me and I ended up going to school the next day. 

I was scolded for being late on my 'first' day but didn't care less. I went up to the roof again knowing he'd be there. This time he noticed me but I closed the door just as fast as I had opened it.

From afar I started watching him and it became clear to me. Mister Perfect was far from perfect, he did everything with caution. I got bored of the good boy act losing interest of watching, he was nice to me because that was what he forced himself to do, I try to search for light even though its impossible. Everyone was out for themselves.

I returned to my normal routine and was in another pointless fight I was about to win since I had gotten my muscles back. All of a sudden they ran away, I turned to see the guy behind me. What the hell I thought as I dropped myself onto a random wooden box running my fingers through my hair. 

I caught my breath as he was in front of me just staring. "You look like shit", he suddenly said catching me off guard. I had laughed for the first time in years. 

"What's that? The Eren Yeager does have a foul side to him".


	21. Wrong

\---Erens POV: the next morning---

I woke up to find Levi asleep on top of me. Slowly remembering fragments of last night I sat up waking him up. "What the fuck", he muttered in a sexy, groggy morning voice, but that wasn't important at the moment, since he also sounded like he was about to kill someone, it was moments like these I remembered he was a delinquent and was supposed to be scary.

"Sorry, you caught me off guard", he sat there glaring before rubbing his eyes. After a few awkward minutes he turned his head towards my window letting a sigh out. 

"Forget what happened last night, neither of us were in our right mind", he uttered coldly along with that emotionaless face he always wore. 

"What? How am I supposed to forget? We both confessed, its mutual, what's the problem?", he didn't even bother to look at me as he got up to change into his school uniform then scoffing at me. 

"You confessed, I merely asked a question", I was taken aback very confused, frustration built up inside me as I grew agitated unable to answer. "Fuck you", was all I managed to spit out. Why act cold now, why put me through all that to just leave. 

Though your face clearly just showed pain as you heard me curse at you. 

"We wouldn't want to put more burden on your mother. You deserve a life with a girl and kids. I'm supposed to be the uncle, thats my role. Your friend, not the person who makes your life complicated.", after spouting all that bullshit he left without leaving me any time to think or comprehend what was happening. Why did everything have to be so hard.

\---a week later---

Everything in school went back to normal or whatever you could call normal. My friends could talk to me normally including Mikasa, who was only feeling better due right Jean and Annie but I spent the most of my time away from everyone when I didn't have class. 

I did change though, somehow I had stopped hanging out with my friends and didn't put all my effort into pleasing them. Levi said all that about being my friend but we've gone back to being strangers. 

At home mom couldn't keep her eyes off me, it was understandable but what could I do except keep out of trouble and get good grades. 

\---next day---

"You aren't on speaking terms?", Armin asked as we walked home together. "No", was the only word I wanted to exchange with him about it and he took that as a sign understanding and giving me a nod.

"Well see you tomorrow", I waved as we parted ways and I headed inside. Mom wasn't home, she had to leave for a business trip and the refrigerator was full of food I had to eat. It was weird how I never felt hungry until I started eating.

I sat at the table looking upon my microwave heated food and looked at the pill case. I threw the pills for today away, I had stopped taking them because I felt they were unnecessary. 

For some reason I started to notice I had too much time on my hands to think, all I did at home was sleep. Thats what I planned on doing after forcing this food down my throat.

\----

Private Calls

Mom: Did you eat?

Eren: Yeah mom, don't worry. Take care of yourself, okay.

Mom: I'll try, love you hun. Gotta go.

After mom hung up, I went through my contacts and saw Levis profile picture, it was blank, how fitting. I clicked on our chat to read through our messages somehow I accidentally clicked on call and it was ringing. I heard a click.

Levi: Yes?

Eren: It was an accident

Levi: Oh, I'll hang up now then

Eren: W..wait please

Levi: Eren.

Eren: Can we meet up?

Levi: That's not fair. We already talked

Eren: No, you talked..

After a few minutes, I heard his voice whisper over the phone

Levi: Fine. Our usual spot in 20  
\----

I hung up and sprinted up to my closet. I hadn't felt this happy in days.

He was already waiting as I got there, it hurt seeing him. Without thinking I raised my hand and caressed his cheek, the weird part was he let it happen. Really why were you like this Levi.

"What happened", Levi averted his eyes as a guilty aura surrounded him. I let my hand fall back to my side before taking a step back. "We both were upset and said the wrong things", I didn't say anything else and neither did he. So I started walking in the direction of school and he followed as always with no hesitation.

The music room was free.


	22. Friends or Lovers

"I brought you here before when we were having trouble communicating", I sat down patting on the cushion next to me.

"Levi, I did a lot of research for you. Its complicated as you say, but its not impossible. I'd like to add we're in the 21st century and I'm old enough to decide who I want to be with. I've never thought about things like being straight until you brought it up. I'm not proposing and we don't know if we'll even be together in the future. But I'm in the present and I'll be honest, I like you Levi, a lot. Neglecting your desires to protect me, I don't need that. Don't want to date me? Fine, but ignoring me is quite fucked up considering I did nothing to you. I miss you", the words flowed out and I wasn't sure if I was being too honest, but I wanted Levi to understand.

"You're unbelievable, Yeager", he pressed on different keys before turning entirely red then pressing his entire hand against the keys, the piano let out a distorted sound.

"Im scared for various reasons some having nothing to do with same sex relationships. I've never done this liking another person thing before and I'm not the best person in the world", I patted his head which finally made him look at me with his blank face but his eyes wavered and betrayed his attempt to hide his feelings.

"Idiot. No more running away, no matter if friends or lovers, we stay by each others side", suddenly I felt his lips against mine and I melted into his kiss that almost made me crawl onto his lap and sink my hands into his hair. 

He pulled back and laid his head on his hands before chuckling disheartening. "I'm sorry", he softly replied before looking at me and giving me a heart clenching smile. "I'll do better, I promise", I got off the piano bench and stood by the open window as the cold wind blew against me and I watched the sun go down. "Hey, Levi. Play the piano for me please", he gave me an understanding nod before going at it. His fingers pressing different keys at various speeds. Even if it was just for this moment, everything felt okay.

"Levi, where do you live", his eyes widened as he stopped and looked at me. "No. Eren. Never", he hushed in a scary tone before he started walking again. Confused I ran to catch up to him leaving it be, burying it where I couldn't think about it again.

"Well could you stay tonight, please", the lights shone over his grey eyes making them seem silver. I received a soft smile which indicated yes as I unlocked the door.

Levi washed up before me, so when I came out to him sitting on the ground with long pants and no shirt. My eyes couldn't help but wander. How could he be so muscular. It almost wasn't fair. "Enjoying the view, Yeager, maybe a picture would suffice", he looked up from his phone and I felt my face flush before coughing to change the subject.

I walked over to my desk to grab a hairband to tie my hair together. "By the way, why do you grow your hair out", he questioned as I had the band between my teeth staring into the mirror as I had my hair in my hand. "Stopped caring", I stated as I was done tying my hair down getting on the futon to sit next to him. 

He pulled me between his legs and wrapped his arms around my waist. Normally this wouldn't be a problem but now everything we did made me feel embarrassed. But I leaned back as he held his phone in his hand and showed me something.

He seemed calm and concentrated, I've never understood the feeling of desires until now. I wanted him to feel conscious of me. I turned my position then facing him. "Eren?", I groped his chest and he stared at me surprised. "S-sorry", I stuttered surprised at my own actions.

"Mh, its too late now. Kiss me", I had turned the switch on and I felt like it was too late to back out therefore hesitating. "Don't leave me waiting after coming on so strong", his hands were caressing my thighs and even though his touch was light, it felt intense.

I pressed my lips against his and the kiss turned sloppy before I could understand, his tongue roamed around mine and I felt like my energy was being taken away. He suddenly pulled away and the string of saliva broke, he rubbed across my bottom lip as he glared at me erotically.


	23. Kiss

"That's enough", I pressed my face against his chest to hide the embarrassment and I heard him laugh softly as he patted me on the head.

"You really do drive me crazy, Yeager", I looked back at him and he gazed softly down at me. I sat up right and our lips brushed against each other, the anticipation drove me crazy. Already knowing the taste of his lips is what made it unbearable to wait for our lips to meet again. 

I bit into my bottom lip and my breathing was shaky, Levi pulled away each time I came closer but stayed close enough so that I could feel his breath. "No, I think you're the one who drives me crazy, Ackerman". 

Finally he gave in and pressed his lips against mine immediately my stomach turned like I had butterflies. He kissed my lower lip and bit it slowly. I felt like we would eat each other if we didn't slow down. 

He kissed down my neck and warmth covered each area his lips touched. Before I knew it, I laid underneath him and he stared down upon me. "Let's stop before I lose myself", his hungry gaze averted itself from mine and he seemed to struggle to move, but he got off me, sitting back up.

"I've never felt that good from a kiss before", I confessed worried he thought he was the only one who wanted it to happen. He turned to look at me with that heartwarming stare, tenderly chuckling.

I turned the lights off and laid in the futon, holding my arms open, he laid his head on my chest and I played with his hair until we both fell asleep.

\----

Even though my mood had been up due to Levi, the lack of motivation returned slowly. I skipped my therapy appointment again and lied to Levi for the first time. I didn't know what I was doing, I couldn't think straight. I spent that afternoon in a park alone. 

On my way back to the train station, a car suddenly slid screeching, a wave of fear came upon me and I crouched terrified to move. People gathered around me and it got harder to breath, tears started to build as I felt overwhelmed. 

The ambulance was called and I was brought to the hospital, then mom was called. How troublesome.

Mom entered the hospital room along with Levi. Guilt ate away at my conscious. "Seems cars aren't our thing, sweetie", she joked even though her voice shook. Mom grabbed my hand, planting a kiss on my forehead.

"Levi was waiting for you, so I brought him along. Are you hungry? Should I get you some water?", mom fretted all over the place, it took me a while to calm her down before she fell asleep in the guest chair.

I could feel his eyes burning a hole through me, as I looked over I saw the anger in his eyes and was glad my mother was there. "You're a fucking idiot, why can't you ever talk to me", he sighed agitated pacing through the bad lit hospital room. 

"I'm sorry", he looked over at me and leaned against a wall prior to filling me a cup of water. As he handed it to me, he said "I'm sure you haven't eaten today", he was right, if I wasn't reminded I still went the day without eating, I took the cup ignoring his question however saying thank you.

He looked at the clock and back at me "I have to go, call me when you're discharged", I nodded and blew him a kiss. He caught it and pretended to eat it before leaving. Even though he was slightly mad, he still made sure to take care of me.

Mom woke up as the nurse came in with the release papers. I looked over at her on the car ride home, she apologized in advance for making me ride in a car. Annoyance just filled me knowing I had bothered her again. Maybe I was really just useless as myself after all.

Mom made me go upstairs to rest, which wasn't out of the ordinary anymore. I remember only four months ago, I was so busy and always out with friends and on pointless dates with my ex.

I wanted to call Levi, but my body already shut down as soon as I had laid down. 

\---Next day---

As mom put food next to me, I turned to look at it but turned back around. "Sweetheart, please eat", she kneeled on the floor grabbing my face, making me look at her.

"No thanks mom, I'm just not hungry", I hoped she'd understand but her eyebrows furrowed before getting up and looking around my room.


	24. Do You Need Him

She started pacing around nervously and I simply waited for her to calm down. Eventually she squatted down to her knees and gave me a sad look "Do you need him? Will he make you eat?", she asked in a gentle tone even though she choked on the last word holding back frustration tears.

She wasn't frustrated with me which made it worse, she was mad at herself although nothing was her fault.

I gave no answer merely shaking my head. In the moment my phone started ringing, but I ignored it. Mom picked it up jolting up answering the call. I looked at her in disbelief.

\----

Private call

Levi: Eren?

Mrs. Yeager: No, this is his mother

Levi: Good afternoon Auntie, how are you?

Mrs. Yeager: oh good afternoon sweetheart, I'm fine, but I can't get my boy to eat.

Levi: May I come over?

Mrs. Yeager: Of course, would you mind picking up some things on the way

Levi: No, of course not. Send me a list and I'll make sure I get them

\----

Mom hung up and texted for a while before laying my phone back besides me. "You could've just asked me to go, mom", I sat up slowly ignoring the faint dizziness that followed.

She gave me a slight smile before picking up the tray of food and leaving my room. For some reason I felt angry, but that feeling just made me feel even helpless. I threw the pillow across the room before laying back down.

I didn't remember falling asleep until I felt the touch of something wet and cold on my forehead. My eyes opened and recognized the person I'd be avoiding for no good reason. 

"Good morning sleeping beauty. Your mom said you werent feeling well hence the cloth", I reached for his face and caressed his cheek. This is what I didn't want, I didn't want to feel the warmth of the person who made everything a little better. More like I didn't deserve his affection. 

Neither of us said anything to break the silence that suddenly fell between us. I took back my hand and instead of moving back, he grabbed mine with his free left hand planting a kiss onto it.

"Anyway, your mom made you porridge, so sit up so I can feed you", I obeyed doing as he told me and he had the bowl in his hand. He scooped a spoonful of porridge blowing on it before he looked at me. I took that look as a command to open my mouth. 

So my lips parted automatically then he fed me a spoonful. It was apple, I had forgotten how good my moms porridge tasted. When the bowl was empty, he kissed me out of blue licking over my lips. 

I hid my face out of embarrassment and he chuckled. I peeked back at him finding an incredible look on his face, "Let's go on a walk, Yeager", he stood up taking the dish downstairs so I took that time to get dressed. 

The weather was grey and dull, not even a crack of sunshine. "You gonna talk to me?", he asked as we walked hand in hand down an alleyway. I noticed he was slightly taller than me, I already took notice of the fact he was buffed up. The difference between our attraction was too unfair, even his side profile was mesmerizing, unlike my brown long unkept hair, he had an black hair that was parted in the middle with an undercut.

I reached to touch the shorter hair "You're quite beautiful", I stated and we stopped walking. He pulled me into a hug "No, you're the one thats beautiful, Yeager", me? No I was the absolute opposite, all my muscle left my body due to my eating habits and the rings under my eyes grew darker and darker.

"The times I end up crouched on the ground is because something happens in my mind. I get so scared and can't identify the people around me", I confessed as I buried my face into his chest.

He placed his hand on my head "Im proud of you", I remembered the first time we had a conversation on the hill. Tears welt up and I ended up sobbing convulsively into his shirt. Levi comforted me until I calmed down enough to take me home. 

"Will you stay over, I'm actually feeling a lot better than the past few days. I need you and I missed you", he gave me a smile and a kiss. "You don't have to ask", I bit my lip before wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.


	25. Can I Kiss You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi ;-; another authors note, just want to say thank you again for reading until here and I wanna put a warning here cause the next two chapters will contain smut/sexual acts scenes but I recommend reading them cause they also cute/sad

Levi and Mom were leisurely chatting while I slowly sipped the tea Mom had brewed us. I was glad mom was happy and Levi was in my life despite everything that was going on in my head, I was grateful I had them both. Don't worry, Armin too of course.

"Come here", he demanded after I had just came out of the shower. I walked over to him and he pulled me into his lap. He turned on the hair dryer, brushing through my hair as he followed the sections he brushed with the blow dryer. It always felt nice and I always fall asleep despite the noise. 

"Eren", my shoulder was being tugged and my eyes fluttered open after realizing I was sitting on my boyfriend. "Sorry", I yawned and he let out a single chuckle. "Wanna face me", I turned to face him and the closeness of his face made me go red enough to want to hide.

His eyes stared at my lips and I felt this tension I had never felt before, maybe it was me still waking up however then his thumb rubbed over my chapped lips tugging my bottom lip downwards. "Can I kiss you", unable to say a word I slowly bobbed my head yes. Levi's fingers ran down my neck as he gazed upon me making me anticipate a single kiss even more.

Inches away from my lips, hesitantly coming closer just to tease me. Finally his lips met mine, we both melted into the kiss. His tongue that roamed my mouth overpowered all my senses as it wriggled inside hitting the roof of my mouth. I grabbed ahold of his shoulders to hold myself as our tongues intertwined for dominance. 

Levi pulled back biting my lower lip before letting go. "You make me go insane, Yeager. I want to make you unable to utter a word, well properly anyway", his intense silver eyes pierced through mine leaving me trapped not able to even think of averting my gaze. 

A chill went down my spine and I pulled him into another sloppy kiss. It was the other way around, he was the one that made me crazy. Our clothes were being torn off by each other and his lips traced all over my body. He got down on my boxers rubbing over my clothed crotch, noises escaped me but he didn't slow down.

He took his other free hand lifting my right thigh pushing it towards me, I've never knew I was that flexible. He bit into my thigh and an overwhelming pleasure went throughout my body. He licked over the bite mark on my thigh then proceeding to pull my boxers down revealing my cock. 

I was too turned on to be embarrassed all my mind could process was touch me more. He started jerking my cock and I couldn't get the words out, just a bunch of jumbled words. "Mh~ who knew you could make such sweet sounds", he whispered in my ear as his hand went faster.

He bit my ear as I ejaculated on his hand, as I came back to my senses I sprung up embarrassed. "Your hand, I'm so-", he grinned then licked over his hand. 

"Itadakimasu", I couldn't help but laugh which shocked him. I was worried I had offended him but suddenly he tightly wrapped me in his arms "Levi?".

"Seeing you turned on and laughing after the past few days. I was a bit worried but right now I'm really happy", how could someone be this caring, especially towards someone like me.

I patted his head trying to ignore the fact I was naked and he half, but it couldn't be ignored since I could clearly see the tent in his boxers. I gently pushed him back on the futon climbing on top of him. "Now its my turn to make you feel good", I gave him a kiss before going down on him.

"I've never done this before so sorry if I'm bad", I could already see from the tent that he was bigger than I was. But how was I supposed to fit that in my mouth.

I stared at it concentrated and ran a finger up his shaft. It gave a reaction so I licked up his shaft then, it had a weird smell but it also kind of turned me on. I placed a hand on Levis cock stroking it vertically and licked over the tip to taste the precum which was salty.

I heard groans coming from Levi and it turned me on even more.


	26. Itadakimasu

I placed it in my mouth trying to make my way down which was unsuccessful.

"Maybe..mh~ try wrapping your tongue around it", he strained his voice as he looked down at me with hungry eyes. 

I tried obeying his advice and took his cock in my mouth for a second time moving my head trying to use my tongue. "F-fuck", his hand was on my head pushing it downwards and I felt him in my throat. I gagged but I didn't want to stop. My fingers dug into his muscular thighs. How lewd I must look sucking him off, but I wanted more, something more intense.

I tapped his thighs and he stopped, then cupping my face and picking my head up. "Are you okay", he asked concerned worried he had overdone it. 

"Yeah, wanna face fuck me?", I asked opening my mouth pressing my fingers around in my mouth. Levi added two more playing with my tongue which was oddly pleasuring. "Of course, Yeager".

His cock entered my mouth bit by bit and when he was sure, he thrusted it down into my throat repeatedly. Tears fell down my face but it was because I never imagined it to feel so good. The pulsing coming from his cock ensured me he was about to cum.

A warm liquid filled my mouth and Levi stepped back as I swallowed the salty pool of semen. "You didn't have to swallow it", he grabbed wipes kneeling down to wipe me off. "I'd do anything for you, Ackerman", he looked at me unsure what to say, he just gave me a sad smile and dressed me. 

I took the wipes from him and practically forced him to let me do the same, part of my reason doing so just to feel over his body again. He put on his clothes and laid next to me. 

"Hey, Eren. Do you want to tell your mom about us", he suddenly asked as his arms were around my stomach and our hands interwined. He loved mom, which made him feel guilty that we were dating even though it wasn't a big deal to me.

I lifted his left hand to my mouth planting a kiss on it. "Yeah, we'll tell her after tomorrow, okay. We're in this together...which reminds me Levi..what happened with your parents if you don't mind me asking", he didn't answer. He didn't even move. 

"You don't have to tell me yet, thats alright. I'm sorry for asking".

\---The next morning---

Mom had already left for work by the time I had woken up. It was her first day back since the incident. 

Levi stood in the kitchen with a shirt off, drinking tea in his weird way as always but don't get me wrong I was thankful for the view.

I walked over wrapping my arms around his waist. "You're supposed to be at school", I stated as he caressed my cheek staring down at me. Today was the last day I was supposed to stay home. Starting tomorrow I had to go, but Levi had skipped the last two days for me which made me feel bad but I wasn't sure he would have gone in the first place.

"I need you to at least finish highschool", I said getting a bottle of water out of the fridge filling it into a cup Levi handed me. "I won't let you drop out. Finish highschool, not only for me. But for yourself and everyone else important to you", he wore his usual unbothered facial expression as he simply nodded. I was a bit taken aback.

"If it were that easy, I would've started dating you sooner", I cooked rice in the rice cooker and heated up the mackerel mom made. I made miso soup setting the table. 

I looked over at Levi, who was grinning at me as he watched. My face turned red and I threw the empty bottle at him. He laughed as he caught it throwing the bottle away.

"Come eat", I patted his chair before sitting in my own. He sat and looked at his full meal while looking at my lonely bowl of rice. "Don't look at me like that. I'm eating something", he sighed, accepting it before clapping his hands together. 

"Itadakimasu", he said, I suddenly remembered last night but thats what he was going for as he winked at me. 

"Perv", I stuffed my mouth full of rice just because I was embarrassed. "Mpfh, wiew u wudjeuu", he looked at me and hit me on the head. "Don't talk with your mouth full, idiot", I swallowed and pouted but he enjoyed my reaction smiling at me. 

"As I was saying, will you please study with me since exams are coming up soon". He nodded as he continued to eat his food. 

For a moment I felt at peace, I thought if only every day could be like this.


	27. Relationship

\---nighttime---

"Hey, Levi", I whispered with my eyes closed, since I'd see just as much if they were open. "Yes, Yeager", he whispered back. "Hold my hand", he softly let a chuckle out then intertwining our fingers.

\---the next morning---

My single futon felt empty as I woke up even though I should've felt relieved since there's barely space for Levi and I. 

I felt grumpy as I sat up gazing over where he was supposed to lay. My whole body tensed with satisfaction as I stretched while looking over at the window. The clouds filled the sky and everything was grey, it was the last week before Christmas break.

Thoughts filled my head and I wondered if Levi would celebrate with Family. I put it on my list of things to worry about later. First was finding the energy to get up and do anything. It was hard if Levi wasn't next to me.

Family, now I couldn't stop thinking about it. I knew nothing about him and he probably felt overwhelmed with my problems. He was so closed off towards me. Before I could fall into that dark space, my alarm went off and I forced myself up.

I walked down the stairs entering the kitchen to see Mom and Levi talking and drinking tea. Mom looked over at me and gave me a warm smile. "Breakfast is ready sweetheart".

I sat next to Levi and started eating, I felt nervous since we had a conversation about outing our relationship to my mom. In that moment, Levi leaned towards me and fixed my tie. "How untidy", he teased as I felt my entire face change its color. "M-mom", I stuttered as I turned to face mom who looked at me intrigued.

"I have a boyfriend", everything fell silent and Levi suddenly bowed apologizing, which confused mom even more. However she then started giggling and we both looked confused as she tried to calm her laughing down.

"I had my suspicions. It made sense, I was just waiting for you to eventually tell me", my heart melted. I never had to worry about mom giving me a hard time. "Thank you so much auntie", Levi grabbed my hand and smiled at her. 

"Now, now. You can call me mom".

After we got done talking and mom stopped embarrassing me in front of Levi, we made our way to school. "By the way Levi, why can't I come over", he froze for a second but continued walking. A huge sigh escaped him. "I'm scared".

Thats all he said and I couldn't bring myself to think of something to say back, but I couldn't continue being useless to him.

"You tell me to talk to you. We're together, anything you're going through, I'll be here to go through it with you, even if I'm a bit broken. I may not be able to help, but I can listen", we finally stopped at the school gates, where Levi still seemed to be processing what I had said.

"We'll talk about it after school, okay.", I simply nodded and we headed inside together.

Our classmates stared when we were together. Rumors went around, mostly bad ones about him. I had even gotten into a fight because of one. That was a wild day, mom freaked when she saw my face as soon as I got home.

\---flashback---

"He does whatever he wants, I bet he threatens the teachers too. What a sad loser. Heard he got kicked out of his last school", I slammed my hand on the table and the whole class fell silent. It was self studying class. 

"Who the fuck do you think you are", Levi was there too but I knew he wouldn't do anything about it, we were in an awkward phase so I didn't think he'd be the one to hold me back.

"Excuse me, why are you getting all worked up", I remember throwing the first punch and somehow Levi was the one to calm me down. A teacher came in and the other guy and I were warned. 

"Don't do that again. I'm fine, Yeager. As long as you believe in me, I'm okay", tears rolled down my cheeks and I cried for him that day.

\---back to the present--

But my friends accepted our "friendship", Armin already called out our relationship too. He was the only one who knew.

"Good morning shortie", Levi greeted Armin , they had been getting along and didn't even need me to be able to talk normally to each other. 

"Good morning delinquent", Armin snorted "its a wonder you're present, boyfriend got you whipped?", their conversations would seem concerning to an outsider but it was the norm for them. 

"Mh, if you knew", Levi smirked and look over at me triumph, so Armin also looked at me raising an eyebrow. My face turned red as soon as I understood what Levi had meant. 

"Ah, thought Eren was a top", he blurted out and my pride felt attacked "I'm a power bottom", I claimed as they both laughed at me. 

"Could you please not discuss our sex positions and about something normal", I hid my face in my arms and they talked away until our math teacher entered the room.


	28. Classroom

Lunch break came and Levi kidnapped me, after we ate, taking me to a more abandoned part of the school. Its not like nobody used that part of the school but it was rare that you found someone there.

"What's u-", my words were muffled with a kiss. I completely fell under his spell placing my hands on his shoulders to stand on my toes. "Open your mouth", he commanded in a low tone. Subconsciously before I could even think I obeyed.

His tongue twined around mine and I groaned while he had his way with the inside of my mouth. He finally pulled away smirking. "Thanks for desert".

We started walking back to class and I was still in dreamland unsure of what had just happened. My face still felt warm and I hid behind Levi so no one would notice. 

He always made me succumb under his will. Yet that kiss felt amazing I thought as my fingers ran across my lips. 

We walked into class finding Annie on Armins lap, in front of our class Ymir and Historia were flirting. Mikasa and Jean sat together talking to others out our class. The usual people went quiet as we entered the room and we did as always. Ignored it.

"Too much PDA, my eyes, poor innocent me", I teased Armin as soon as I sat down and fake gagged. He laughed and pointed at Levi "If you're so innocent, you shouldve seen your face when you walked in. It said otherwise", I forgot about his immaculate senses. 

"Armmmin, don't outsmart me every single time", Annie and Armin laughed whilst Levi stood there looking at me with a smile on his face. Annie had found out too and didn't care. Even though our friendship was rocky, if it came down to it. I would protect Annie and she would me. 

I looked around at the couples who were so openly flirting. I wanted to be all touchy with Levi and forget about everyone else too. Who would've thought I would turn out greedy and clingy.

My phone buzzed and I took it out to see a notification from Levi.

\----

Private chat

Levi: You know, you're incredibly readable. Maybe I'd let you come over if you keep acting so cute

\----

A feeling of sadness mixed with joy overcame me. I looked up and received that smile he only gave me, the proof of his love. He'd been showing more emotions lately and tried to get along with my friends. He allowed me to take the mask off I was wearing for so long, he made me happy. I'm absolutely terrified what would happen if he left.

After our last class and cleaning duty, Levi leaned against his desk waiting for me to pack my school bag. But somehow he had spaced out. "Levi", I clicked my fingers together barely able of producing a sound.

I couldn't read his expression and when he snapped out his trance, he took a drop breath in and his chest rose then sinking as he breathed out. He buried his face into his hands. 

Slowly, worried, I walked over taking him into a bear hug. His arms automatically wrapped themselves around my waist and his face buried itself into my flat board chest. 

"You've gained a bit of weight", he uttered and I felt his hot breath against my shirt. I didn't know what to reply, I remembered that morning when he replied with 'I'm scared'. 

He didn't move and I felt anxious. "Don't fall asleep, Ackerman", Levi finally lifted his head and our eyes met. His eyebrows were furrowed and his face looked bleak. 

He sat up and pulled his arms back instead taking my hands into his. "I'm scared that if I take you to that place, I'll lose you. Since we've met, I've barely stayed there. Today I have to pay my rent which is the only reason I declined dinner with your mom tonight", I wasn't aware of his past and I wasn't sure on how to approach him.

I was so useless when it came to Levi, it was embarrassing. He was feeling down because of me and my stubbornness. I pulled my hands back and started pacing throughout the empty classroom.


	29. Clean, but Unlived In

The light from the setting sun shone across the desk tops, but the room was cold despite it looking warm.

"I'm sorry. I can't promise you anything, but I know that we can overcome it all. You're always helping me, so let me suppress your worries.", I put my pinky out and he scoffed wrapping his around mine. "You're unbelievable, Yeager".

I picked up my bag and pulled Levi up so we could finally leave school. "I still need to go home and ask mom and clothes", he waved his phone. "I already asked her, you'll be fine", he went the opposite direction of the one we always took. 

We walked into a deserted street, where nobody was outside, not even a plant was to be found. We passed a suspicious looking bar, but Levi didn't leave me any time to look around. He rushed forwards pulling my hand. He took the keys out of his pocket as we walked up stairs to stop in front of chipped, moldy white door. 

I heard the lock click as soon as we were inside and looked back to see him locking it. The inside looked like it was store bought, it was unexpected since the outside looked old and broken. 

Clean but unlived in, those were the words I could describe it with. "I'll be right back. Don't open the door. No. Matter. What.", he placed emphasis on the last three words. 

He grabbed a thick looking envelope looking over at me, who sat on the couch indecisive if he should leave or not. "I'll stay put, promise. Go, Levi", he grumbled and left locking the door from the outside.

My hands ran over the couch, which seemed brand new. He wasn't kidding when he said it was not lived in. I stood up to roam the rest of his apartment. 

The kitchen was small but big enough for a table of four. The bathroom was big and cozy, he had a shower in it though. There were two more rooms, before I could enter I heard Levi call my name. 

"I was just looking around", I walked back into the living room to see him placing the keys on a high table. "Are you hungry", I shook my head as he walked into the kitchen grabbing a bottle of tea of the refrigerator. 

"I don't know why I asked", he took out rice pouring it into the rice cooker as well as water. I sat on a chair and poured tea into the glasses he set on the table. "Wanna shower while I cook", he asked while taking tomatoes out the fridge.

I shook my head again wondering what was wrong with me. I continued staring at him and he looked over at me again with a smirk. "I'm sorry, would you like me first", he teased as he winked at me. I got flustered and stuttered shower hence him laughing.

"I'll put some clothes here", he placed them onto a hamper in the bathroom before closing the door leaving me in there. He had already turned the water on the perfect temperature for me and placed body wash and shampoo on the edge of the shower.

I never stayed at someone else's house except for Mikasa and Armin, but that was normal for childhood friends, well until Mikasa and I were banned from sleeping in the same room. But she never got me flustered, people called me mature but it was more of a being an asshole thing. Levi managed to get me flustered with a single sentence.

Abruptly my mood darkened as I stood under the water. As I washed up, the thoughts overwhelmed me and I wasn't capable of calming down. A storm was brewing inside me. Why was he all alone. Where was his family. Why did I waste a year with Mikasa. How could he love me, a murderer, a burden, a problem child. Why was I alive. Tears filled my eyes and I turned off the water.

Thereafter I dried myself off and put on the clothes Levi left me. The pants were too big so I left them off. I came into the kitchen looking at the food that sat on the table and couldn't stomach the thought of eating it.

He was sitting in the living room and looked over at me as I entered. His eyes roamed my body as I walked closer placing myself on his lap facing him. He placed his hands on my lower back as I placed my on his shoulders. He looked concerned but before he could get a word out, I pressed my lips against his. "Make the thoughts stop", I chocked in a hushed tone.


	30. Wrong Question

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors note for the next two chapters: This will most likely be the hardest chapters to read through..keep in mind Levi is 19 and Eren is 18..a sex scene will be coming up but it will not be a romantic or smutty one. Its to escape reality for Eren, thats how he decides to cope with the depression phase atm also suicidal attempt will be in the next chapter. I recommend reading it, its not that bad but if its too much you can skip.
> 
> Also as I did at the beginning, I told u all I would recommend reading while listening to the song you by petite biscuit because thats how I wrote the entire story, however I wrote the next two chapters while listening to train wreck slowed by James Arthur.

He started to kiss my neck. It sent shivers down my spine, I was reacting more sensitive than usual. 

"Maybe talking would be better", Levi asked unsure as he held himself back. "No. What I want is to be held", what made us humans feel like this I wondered. Levi was hesitant and I kissed him again "Please", I pleaded.

His fingers ran up my back as we kissed passionately. Slowly I lost myself and surrendered to his touch. I rocked my hips as he groaned into the kiss pulling me closer thrusting his hips upwards. 

I unbuttoned his pants and his cock sprang out hard as wood. I started to stroke his cock, he pulled back "Fuck", I was so focused on him I didn't notice him putting his hands into my boxers. "Look babe, it feels even better rubbing them together", the slight dominance I had disappeared as he took over and we rubbed our cocks together.

"C-cumming", he started moving his hand faster and I came into his hand. Somehow it made me feel bad. He already laid me onto my back and spread my legs apart. 

"What- no. That place is dir-", he bit into my thigh shutting me up as he looked at my hole. I felt embarrassed, he suddenly touched it and I jumped. "Its fine, trust me", his finger crept into my hole and it felt weird, like a random object being stuck into there.

"I can't do this without preparation, wait for me", he got up and went into a room. He came back with a bottle and condoms. It was lube, he knelt back in front of me and poured lube onto his fingers. Then again he placed those two fingers into me.

"Le-levi..its feels weird", I cried and I felt the hunger in his eyes as he looked at me. Intense, it made me feel warm inside. I tried anal fingering a few times to prepare myself for this but its never felt this good. 

His fingers felt so long and thick, suddenly he came upon a spot and my back slouched up. "Not there", I whimpered and he grinned. "Found it", his fingers started thrusting faster and he repeatedly hit the same spot, it felt so good I came again. 

Levi licked it off my stomach "I think I can enter. Are you sure you want this?", I nodded "Just put it in me already", he slowly started to enter me. "Breathe Yeager, this takes time", it hurt but every time I winced he'd take it out and retry.

Finally he entered all the way and started moving slowly. It was already too overwhelming for me. The thoughts disappeared and my brain was turned to mush. He started thrusting into me faster and my nails dug into his back as strange noises kept coming out of me. 

He fucked me doggy next and my face was smushed into the couch as my ass was up. I could feel him in my stomach. "Ngh~ s-so fast", he put his hands on my waist and rammed it into me as hard as he could. I felt tears of pleasure coming down my cheeks as I wanted more and more. 

It didn't take long for Levi to come after I had already came four times. He pulled out knotting the third condom we had used. 

He pulled my boxers back on and his own. He wiped my sweat down with tissues. "Are you okay", I sat on the couch as he sat back down handing me a water bottle. I think that was maybe the wrong question. I wasn't sure what the right one would've been. 

Even though his touch made me happy, even though he made me feel like I was his absolute world, tears streamed down my face. I was incapable of being okay.

"Eren", his soft worried voice ringed in my ears. "I'm so disgusting, I've dirtied you", I sobbed. Levi froze unsure how to handle the sudden break down. I grabbed the tissues desperately trying to clean him of the impurities I carried. 

My self hatred grew larger and larger. I couldn't breathe, the air was getting thin. I felt like I was in a box. "EREN", he grabbed hold of my wrists and I stopped altogether.

"You could never dirty me, please don't think that", he kissed my forehead and got up to get me a tissue.

I blew my nose and stopped crying, silently just sitting on the couch.


	31. I Love You

He went into the kitchen for a good ten minutes. I had nothing in my mind, everything was blank, it was scary empty.

Levi came back with a new shirt "Lift your arms", he whispered and I did as he said. He pulled the shirt over my arms and head before pulling it down. He also gave me a tea then sitting down placing me between his legs. 

I leaned on him as he hugged me from the back. "I thought the pills were bullshit, so I haven't been taking them for a while. Today I realized every day gets worse. I thought you could cure it, but I was here and somehow..", I couldn't understand myself or what I was supposed to do.

A tear dropped again even though I felt like I couldn't cry anymore. "Hey, Levi. Why can't I..be normal", my voice cracked as I struggled to ask the one question I've been dwelling on every single day. 

There were no restrictions around so my true feelings were able to show themselves but it hurt. It hurt so bad.

"I told you that bringing you here was a horrible idea. Look what I've done", I placed the mug down and turned around to look at Levi astounded even though I couldn't stop crying. 

He was crying as well, he bit his bottom lip and his breathing got shaky. "Were we a bad idea", he barely whispered as tears fell down his cheeks. 

My whole body was shaking as I wanted to touch his cheek hesitant. His eyes met mine and he glared at me. 

Frustration welt up inside me and the storm was raging. I bit down to make it bearable, my hands balled up and all I could do was hit his chest over and over. I couldn't yell properly or get a single word out, all that came out was sobbing and wailing. 

He just sat there calmly crying. My hands gave up and dropped to my side as I got off of him. 

"Do you regret it", I sternly asked with my hoarse voice. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. "I love you, Yeager", I looked at him in disbelief and slumped down. How did this evening turn into such a mess. Weren't we suppose to overcome it all.

"Its all my fault", I mumbled serenely as I got up and walked towards the door. He stared at me most likely wondering what I was planning. I grabbed the keys and unlocked the door. 

I took a shaky deep breath and gave him a genuine smile, as I looked at him I saw the best thing that ever happened to me.

"I love you too".

I closed the door and ran forward. I had no idea what I was doing but I was following this dark massive feeling inside my chest. At that moment I was glad it was an abandoned neighborhood. I heard my name but I just kept running forward. 

The adrenaline was drowning everything else around me out. There it was, that bridge we crossed. I climbed onto its rails. 

Forgive me, mom. 

I was pulled back and fought the person who was pinning me down. 

"Are you fucking stupid..don't you..FUCKING SMILE AT ME LIKE THAT. DID YOU WANT TO TRAUMATIZE ME!? I'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS BEFORE..", the angered Levi stopped yelling and his voice turned into a pained whisper, "you're the one who made a promise..", suddenly a police car came and fear overcame me making me pass out.


	32. Promise

\---2 days later: Levis POV---

I was on my way to the hospital, his mother had called informing me.

After I pulled him from the rails, the police had arrived, someone must've called them. Beats me who. 

I apologized to Erens mother over and over. All she did was give me a motherly smile, not that I remembered what it looked like, that was how Eren described it to me.

She took me into a hug, similar to the ones Eren took me in when I was feeling down. "I know its not your fault, sweetie". 

For the first time I felt what I had 10 years ago, when my mom was alive then I gave in, explaining everything I could, she sat there and listened to me. "Thank you for taking care of my boy", tears stood in her eyes and I hugged her on my own that day. She really made the same expressions Eren did.

Only his mother was allowed to see him at first since she was immediate family. After half an hour she came to get me and I had entered a hospital room to see him lying there for the second time already.

Erens mom left the room to talk to the doctor and I walked over to his bed. The room was so dark and isolated, even though you come here to get fixed up, it makes you lonely. Well not if you have people that care.

"I'm sorry", those were the first words I had heard since our "fight". I sat on the edge of his bed and stared down at him. Anger welt up inside but not because I was mad at him, I was mad at the world. I couldn't get any words out so he continued.

"Im going to get better for you and mom, I plan on working my hardest. But I'll have to go away for a while, Levi", my heart ached because I knew that but had been trying to avoid it the past two days.

He held his pinky out and I hesitated cause the last time we made a swear, it ended in the worst possible way. But the only thing we're allowed to do... is to believe that we won't regret the choice we made, so I wrapped mine around his and risked it. 

"I'll wait for you as long as you want me to", his mom came back inside with puffy eyes, my guess was for the reason Eren already figured out. 

She sat next to him on the bed and grabbed his hand with a smile on her face, a smile that radiated hope so that he would believe.

"Tomorrow..tomorrow you'll be admitted, but thats okay because I know you can do this", she sighed and looked over at me. 

"Ten more minutes and we have to leave, so say your goodbyes", his mom nodded before leaving the room. 

Eren sat up and took my hand "When you get out, I'll be here with your mom and I'll get better at school. I'll stop fighting and I'll have flawless attend-", he cut me off with a short but sweet kiss. A kiss that lingered and hurt since I knew it'd be the last one for a while. 

He let my hand go and gave me that same smile he had before he ran out the door. For a split second I thought he'd disappear, but I got it together and said goodbye before leaving his room. 

"Keep in touch", his mom asked of me as I was leaving the building. "Of course", I responded. Who knew life could look so optimistic in such a dark time.

\---2 months later---

"I haven't seen you in a while, you avoid me even though I saved your life", Hanji swung her arm around me as I had escaped to the nurses room to get away from the crowd. 

I was keeping my promise and continued going to school every single day. My head was buried in books so I could forget all the negativity around me. 

"Shut up", she giggled at my response like always and looked at me, her expression turned serious all of a sudden. "That boy is good for you. I know its depressing but all will be good in the end. So don't be so broody, hahaha", she hit me on the back a couple of times. Hanji was a weird one but she was one of the only adults to accept me and straighten me out. 

"Anyway lets eat, I'm hungryyy. No one interesting has come by lately. You're paying", she have me a smirk before heading out the room. What a noisy woman.


	33. Purpose

I was in the piano room practicing, it was the only time I could feel happy remembering him sitting next to me and desperately trying to play all the wrong keys.

\---flashback---

"Ahh, your playing is always so beautiful", Eren sat next to me and pressed one of the keys. 

He was sad that day but tried to hide it, but I already knew he wasn't feeling well so I tried to cheer him up with music. 

"At least try to play the right keys", he laughed before turning completely silent. "Eren-", he kissed me to shut me up as he always did. 

"Maybe if I could do that in real life, I could be normal and happy", he said without hesitation. He was smiling but his eyes looked so dark. "Play for me, Ackerman", he returned to his normal self and still played the wrong tones as I was supposed to play.

\--back to reality--

I heard a knock on the door and looked over to see Armin. He came in sliding the door closed behind him. "You know you don't have to be alone.", he was right, but I wanted to be.

"I'm fine", he walked over to the window. It was already February, time had passed by like crazy. "Have you heard from him", my fingers stopped and my shoulders slumped. A hurt sneer came from me "He won't let me see him..".

"Yeah, me neither, he's scared of showing us his vulnerable side. We've already seen too much for him, especially you", I knew that. I knew everything he was saying but I didn't know how else to act but ignore the feelings inside me and move on. 

I had no time to waste on trivial things. "Well thats all I know, so can you let me practice now", he nodded. Before walking out the door, he looked back once again but left me be. 

\---Saturday morning---

I decided to visit their graves. It would be the first time since my 17th birthday. Id been neglecting them. "Its been a while", I knelt before Isabels and Farlans grave running my fingers over the cold stone. 

"Forgive me, I haven't been able to work up the courage to come see you two since that day. I originally moved out of our old place but I moved back not that long after. I still haven't been able to touch the money we all out together. I gave up for a while but this woman came and found me, Hanji a real loudmouth, always so excited..she's the absolute opposite of me. I met Eren, you'd probably like him".

Sitting there made my mind feel empty, it was like without them or Hanji or Eren, there was a void that I ignored. Well someone has to function, right..

"I hope you're resting well", I laid the flowers on the wet concrete and clapped my hands together in silence, since I couldn't light a candle because of the rain. 

I headed home to change so I could visit Erens mom and have dinner with her. Thats something I did once a week. 

I unlocked the apartment door proceeding towards the bathroom. My reflection stared back at me in the mirror. My hair stuck to my cheeks and forehead. Water was running down my face and body. I unbuttoned my shirt then turning the water on. Everytime I stepped under the warm water, I wondered what went through his mind that day. 

Our future scared me, if he was to cast me aside. Would I be abandoned once again. What purpose other than helping others did I have in life, even then I always mess that up, don't I. The sound of my phone ripped my from my thoughts. 

I turned the water off, wrapping the towel around my waist.

\----

Private call 

Levi: Hello?

Erens mom: Hey sweetheart..

\-----


	34. Feelings

I recognized her gentle voice over the phone and my heart tightened.

\----

Private call

Levi: Good evening auntie

Erens mom: Good evening, excuse me, but I'll have to cancel tonight but I also have a favor to ask. 

Levi: Thats completely fine, I'm here for whatever you need me

Erens mom: Tomorrow I have to work but Eren is being released..do you think you could be there for him please

Levi: Of course, I can..

I whispered and she thanked me wishing me a goodnight before hanging up.  
\----

I couldn't fall asleep, I wasn't sure on how I felt about seeing him. There was nothing I wanted more than to feel his warmth but what if his attachment for me was because he was lonely. Was that why he wouldn't let me see him. No, I was overthinking.

\---the next morning---

I woke up realizing I had managed to sleep for two hours and had 3 more until I had to leave. 

Nonetheless I still got ready way too early and headed to the subway. Even though most people call me robot, even though I'm horrible at communicating with feelings. 

Eren and his mom welcomed me with open arms, Isabel and Furlan always called me out too, yet people think I lack empathy. 

I always thought like I felt it more than others. I wasn't always like this, antisocial, as a child I was lively.

\---Flashback---

"Mommy, Mommy", I ran towards her bed carrying my favorite book whereupon her tired face looked down at me with a sad smile. I didn't realize her smile was always that sad. 

"Read to me, please", I pleaded as I lifted myself onto her bed, she was exhausted but she would always find a way to play and read with me.

Sometimes her customers would come, at that time I didn't know what work she did, but she needed to make money for me. Luckily the men were always nice, I'd get money or candy. They'd ask me to go play outside.

One day she wasn't able to get up anymore so those men stopped coming and she stayed in bed all day. 

She stopped reading to me, I was lucky she taught me how to read beforehand. So I started reading to her, I'd even draw her pictures and told her made up stories. She wouldn't look at me or reply, sometimes tears would fall down her cheeks but I knew she loved me.

I actually wanted to go to school as a child, I started bringing it up multiple times but it was a wish that never got granted. 

A few weeks later, I adjusted to my mom being unresponsive, she ate for me even if it was very little. I learned how to do laundry and clean, mom managed to write that all down in her last week. 

I wasn't aware, I was just happy she started communicating, even if it wasn't with words, I even remember her suddenly hugging me, I think she whispered sorry. Until this day I don't know if I imagined it or if it was real. 

However a few days later, I tried to feed her stew, she refused it or rather she didn't react. I thought she had a fever but when I touched her, she was cold. I ran outside for help, I panicked knowing there was something really wrong that day.

Before I knew it, I finally got my wish but I couldn't communicate with people and was only able to meet people like my aunt which was what pushed me to never want to get close to people again.

\---back to the present--

I stood in front of the psych ward and waited. My heart was beating so fast and my palms were sweaty. He came out that door 2 hours later. He dropped his bag and I didn't know what was happening until he ran into my arms.

\---Erens POV---

"You'll be free tomorrow, Eren, congratulations", my therapist told me at the beginning of our session. 

After that, all I could think about was Levi, I was scared of seeing him after so long. I hoped he hadn't forgotten about me.

I mean I wasn't completely cured but that wasn't the most important thing. My eating habits were way better, I had no problem eating. I was able to get excited about my usual favorite foods.

My therapist explained depression wasn't something that would just go away but I could control it with antidepressants and therapy in the future.

The antidepressants played a big role in my eating disorder. I also noticed my thoughts weren't as chaotic as before and the random feeling of exhaustion disappeared.


	35. I Missed You

The suicidal feeling was magnified at the beginning and it scared me, but that was only because I had to get use to the pills. 

I drank my tea as we always had to and feel asleep excited for the next day.

\---the next morning---

I packed my things and took a deep breath. In an hour I'd be released, I couldn't take how slow time was going by. 

However eventually time was over and I picked up my bag to slowly walk out the ward. I told the nurses goodbye as well as the fellow patients.

The whole world froze, I didn't care how stupid it sounded. As soon as I saw him, everything felt right and I had to try my best to not cry.

I dropped my bag and ran to hug him. His arms wrapped themselves around my waist as he picked me up off the ground while my arms were around his neck.

Tears started to fall anyway "I..I missed you so much", I blubbered into the shirt he was wearing while clutching onto it. His warmth felt nice and his smell nauseated me. The feeling of his arms wrapped around me made me melt. 

"Yeah, I missed you too", he said in his usual calm tone as he cupped my tear stained face and pressed his lips against mine. I felt like I was in a K-drama and I didn't care who saw. I pulled him closer as I melted into his kiss.

My hands ran through his hair and his clutch tightened around my waist, I pulled back suddenly to get another look at him.

I started crying again and he chuckled while wiping my tears away. "Crybaby", he grabbed my hand and walked over to my bag. He threw it over his shoulder and looked at me. "Ready?".

I sniffled quietly and nodded. We made our way to the train station. The best thing about being with Levi is he was like mom. They wouldn't make me say anything, they were calm and sat next to me. 

"Levi", I pulled his sleeve and he looked over at me with that poker face I haven't forgot.

"I'm really sorry about what happened that day. I was really selfish on that day and I didn't think about what it could do to you. So thank you for picking me up and kissing me even though I've put you through the worst".

His hand placed itself on top of my head and he gave me a smile "You're worth going to hell and back for, Yeager, I'm going to be honest, at the beginning it was hard to forgive you and it really stirred something up in me. But my love for you is greater, so just promise you'll never do that again", for the first time he stood up and gave me his pinky.

I looked at him confused at first but wrapped mine around his nonetheless. He pulled me up as our train stopped and opened its doors. 

We got to my house and I went upstairs to put my things away as Levi started dinner. I ran back down the stairs to see him cutting away in the kitchen. "What are you cooking", I asked wrapping my arms around his torso from behind. 

He spun around and picked me up to place me on top of the counter. "Stew", he answered while staring at my completely reddened face. He fed me a carrot piece before putting them into the pot.

"Did they really help you", he asked placing the lid back onto the pot.   
"Yeah, they did, now regarding that I actually have something to tell you, can u help me off the counter", I placed a hand on his shoulder as he took my other one lowering me on the ground.

He was still as buff as ever.


	36. Dream

I took a shaky breath and kept balling then unballing my fists, but I wasn't nervous. It was actually the opposite, I had never felt this excited before.

He fixed his stare onto me, waiting for me to talk. He leaned back into the counter relaxing as he lowered the temperature of the stove.

"I came up with a plan. For us, for me. A dream that came into mind that would make lots of people happy. A café", he looked at me impassive as his left eyebrow rose. Before he could say anything, I wanted to explain the rest.

"We'll have a grand piano in the middle of the café or on a stage in the back. Everyone is allowed, its a place where you can feel safe and accepted. We could help people and listen to their daily life problems while watching them drink coffee or tea", I rambled on making gestures with my arms and hands.

I could picture the whole thing before me in the kitchen and when I was done, I turned to face him giving me that look that made my heart clench and realize what kind of relationship we're in.

He then looked down and averted his gaze "You're the one who said we're only in highschool and didn't want to propose", he was right.

I had said that but in that short period of time, I fell in love with him and couldn't imagine him not being by my side. 

"I'm not proposing. Yet. But I do know I want you by my side for the rest of my life, Ackerman", his eyes widened and tears calmly ran down his face. I couldn't help but be taken aback by a pacific crying face. 

This warm but slightly painful feeling filled me as I took him into my arms. My heart was racing, the future looked a lot brighter to me than it did a month ago.

I already had anticipated him not being by my side and the thought of that kills me, but this was a dream I'd pull through, however it'd mean more if he were there with me.

"Levi, this will take a lot of work, but will you do this with me", I asked in a soft tone as his arms loosened from around my waist.

"Yes", his voice barely let out as he pulled his nose up. I couldn't help but laugh at how adorable I found him at that moment. 

"Now look up at me", he did as I said standing up straight while I grabbed a tissue. "Blow", I held it to his nose and he obeyed blowing into the tissue letting me clean his nose, how rare, letting me baby him like this.

"Boys?", mom came into the kitchen hesitantly with a worried look all over her face. I threw the tissue away and it didn't take long until mom started crying and took me into her arms.

\---two days later--

When I returned to school so much had changed. Mikasa was dating Jean happier than ever, she was actually changing him and I mean she made him better and it was the other way around too, he mellowed her out.

Levi was in the top three for exams in our grade and a perfect attendance student. Armin and Annie were still dating, nothing changed there. 

I was glad Armin and Levi were such good friends, Armin told me everything he did while I was gone. I also had apologized to Armin and he gave me the response I already anticipated "We're cool".

Mikasa and I grew apart naturally, we still greeted each other and came in contact through our childhood friends but it was perfectly fine.

I noticed Hanji was dear to Levi, even if he didn't want to admit it, but she cared for him like her own family member even if she did tease him quite a lot. 

I worked hard in my senior year and was able to graduate alongside with everyone.

"Congratulations", Levi grabbed my hand as we left the school. Mom took us out to eat after our assembly was over, however it wasn't long before she had to leave for work again. Mom had gotten a promotion not too long ago and she was sincerely enjoying her work.


	37. So What If I Love You

Not long after, Levi and I were on our way home. On the way a car screeched and I jumped back panicking for a moment.

However thanks to the therapist I had, I knew how to get it under control, but Levi still stood in the way between me and my view of the car protecting me.

"Sorry, sometimes that just happens", he didn't say anything but instead did the most Levi thing in the world. 

He patted my head proceeding by grabbing my hand and looked at me with the face that made me believe everything would be okay. I absolutely trusted Levi and was about to begin a new chapter, so I decided it was time to tell him about 5 years ago. 

"My dad was a scientist", I declared as I sat on the couch next to Levi. He picked my legs up putting them on his lap and lying his hand on my thigh.

I looked at him and smiled yet I dreaded confronting the past.

"My life was amazing before dad died, I mean I had problems with myself, but who didn't at that age? My parents worked all the time, matter of fact mom was actually his assistant , thats how they met. One day, I begged dad to stay home because I wanted him to practice soccer with me, I had tried out for the team", I took a deep breath to calm myself and Levi gripped my hand allowing me to start talking again.

"The train station. I loved the train, Mom wanted to go with us too, but she stayed home. Anyway..we were on our way and this little boy runs out in traffic, I ran after him but he still got hit by the car. I froze and apparently the first car caused a chain reaction, so dad saved me from the second car. All I remember is sitting in blood and not being able to breathe. Mom got fired due to her lying in bed all day and fell into a bad phase, the boy is still alive so that made it a little more bearable...yeah thats how I developed my phobia of cars".

Levi took me into a tight hug and I felt better than I thought I would. He then pushed me back taking my hand into his. A sad smile sat upon his face. 

"Thank you for being so strong this far, I'm proud of you. Thank you for trusting me, since you did, I guess its my turn".

Levi told me about his father that he never knew and about the mother he lost to a sickness he doesn't know the name of till this day. He tried to keep a poker face but the frustration on his face couldn't be hidden. He then barely managed to tell me about Furlan and Isabel. 

"You know, we actually met a year ago", surprised I looked at him as he handed me a small rag that I recognized as the one I gave to a boy last fall. 

"You were that boy", I gasped clenching the rag in my hand. Levi simply nodded and laid his head my shoulder. "Thank you for everything, Eren", he whispered. I could tell he was exhausted and shortly after he fell asleep on my chest.

"No, thank you for coming into my life, Levi".

\---four years later

"Say cheese", Armin, Annie, Levi, Hanji, Mom and I stood in front of the café as the tripod with my phone took our picture.

"We did it, we've finally made it to the starting line", I shouted a bit too excited, I turned to Levi and jumped in his arms whereupon I received a kiss before he gently placed me back down.

"Tomorrow is the day, they'll all come due to our hard customer recruiting work", I looked around the empty, soon to be opened café. Levi chuckled and patted the seat next to him, so I would listen to him play.

\---the next day---

Levi sat at the piano swarmed by mostly women. Mom and I prepared the drinks and I served them to the customers tables. A lot more customers than expected came in, it was probably because we were one of the few cafés around in the area, which was lucky for us.

Before I knew it, the day was over and it was closing time. 

"Thanks for helping mom", she kissed me on the forehead and Levi came over to bow "Thank you Auntie", she patted Levi on the head and smiled. "How many times do I have to tell you call me mom", she lectured. After she left first, we closed the shop.

"The girls were all over you", I pouted as he opened our apartment door. 

I heard him laugh softly and I ended up being kabedoned against our hallway wall. I felt my face flush as he gazed upon me with a smirk.

"I'm sure the engagement ring on my finger that you gave me made them even more jealous than you", his thumb and index finger held my chin up as he gently pressed his lips against mine biting my bottom lip.

"Do you love me, Yeager", he was always so unfair, he kissed me a second time before I could answer.

"Idiot, so what if I love you, of course I do..", he picked me up and started to walk towards our bedroom ignoring my pleas to let me down.

"I love you too, Eren", I was silenced by a single sentence as he placed me on our bed and looked down on me with those piercing grey eyes. My happy end but tiring night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually embarrassed ╥﹏╥, somehow my last chapter disappeared and the same one was posted two times. So thank you to the person who commented and made that clear, I would've gone weeks without noticing, I also had thrown the papers away so I was close to crying but I found the last page. I'm sorry for the confusion.
> 
> Tbh I wanted it to be a tragic ending meaning Eren would've died, but then I thought thats too much. The story was actually supposed to be fluffy since my other two stories were more dark but I couldn't do it. I live for the angst and fluff type. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the story and are content with the ending, if there are any couples you would like a fanfic written about, don't hesitate to tell me✊🏽😔 I'm already looking for inspiration for my next story.


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